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gravelyhumerus · 5 years ago

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Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 6

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

The team takes on trivia. Emily strips in front of JJ. It's quite an evening for all.

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

“Come on, Jayje,” Penelope whined. “It’ll be good for you to go out.”

“I’m sick,” JJ said, fake coughing. “And I need to get a head start on my project for my new media course. It’s worth forty percent.”

“Bullshit.” Penelope said, “I know for a fact that that isn’t due for two weeks. Tonight is NOT the make or break point in that assignment for you.”

JJ sighed.

“You need to get out. See the world. Do more than just play soccer, work out and do homework. You’ve been hiding since your break up. It’s not healthy.”

She had told herself she would stop avoiding Emily after she had figured out what her feelings were. Despite JJ’s realization that it was a genuine crush, that JJ truly liked Emily, JJ needed to also be sure that she wasn’t simply rebounding onto someone nearby.

Someone pretty and smart and kind and who lived right across the hall.

“It’s trivia night JJ,” Penelope said, “and we have Spencer on our team it’ll be fun.”

JJ sighed, looked up from where she lay on her bed.

“Fine.”

“Make yourself pretty, you know who will be there,” Penelope replied, turning back to her make-up mirror to finish applying her purple lipstick.

“Yeah thanks for that,” JJ said sarcastically, “I saw what you did there.”

“Who, me?” she feigned innocence.

JJ changed from a plain t-shirt to a tighter, low cut long sleeved blue shirt. She then took her hair out of a ponytail, brushing it out before tucking it carefully behind her ears. On principle, she huffed the entire time, so that Penelope would know that she wasn’t happy about the situation, despite the butterflies in her stomach at the idea of seeing Emily again.

She took care to apply some eyeshadow, some blush and a pink lip gloss that tastes like strawberries. There was something intimidating about Emily. She looked so… put together. With Will, he never really noticed, or cared, if she wore makeup, but Emily definitely would.

God. This was stressful. Is this what liking girls was like? If it was, JJ was not sure she was cut out for it.

At least she was going to be on home territory, as trivia was their thing, something that Penelope and JJ had been doing since their floor was forced into going back in first year.

JJ was working hard at learning to relax a bit. Between maintaining her grades, soccer, and her new job editing press releases for the student government, she was already being pulled in multiple directions. A night out would be fun, she reminded herself.

She tried to quell her nerves at going out with Emily. It wasn’t a date or anything. Just friends hanging out. JJ’s friends and Emily’s friends. Penelope’s meddling was further tying her to the girl across the hall by blending their friend groups.

While half of her mind wanted this to happen, wanted to see Emily all the time and have an excuse to see her, smell her, hear her laugh…. JJ frowned as she realized that her crush complicated everything. Emily was already across the hall, and if she admitted her feelings, and they weren’t reciprocated, she would run into her all the time. Now, with Derek Morgan befriending Penelope and Spencer, and all of them going out together, JJ’s silly crush could send ripples across more than just her own life.

JJ ran her hands through her hair, worrying about the possible ways she could fuck this up. She did not entertain the possibility that Emily could possibly like her back. First of all, she had no idea if she was straight or not. JJ didn’t even know how to tell.

JJ glanced over to Penelope, who was finishing up her makeup sitting at her desk, looking into a small mirror on the desk. JJ knew Penelope was queer, as her roommate was not shy about it whatsoever. In her mug full of pens was a pride flag from last year’s pride parade. It was in June, so JJ had been back in Pennsylvania then, but she remembered seeing the joy on Penelope’s face in the photos she posted on Instagram. Penelope wasn’t the person she knew that identified as queer. In fact, Spence had recently told them that he was bi. It wasn’t like JJ was not aware of the community, she thought she was just supporting LGBT+ issues on principal, and for her friends.

She hadn’t considered that when, in her politics class in high school, she was viciously debating on gay marriage for someone like herself. The topics always felt distant. Like something that affected someone else. She was so certain in her heterosexuality that she had joked about it to Penelope earlier in their friendship.

The token straight friend, she had said. So much for that.

“Pen,” JJ said, trying to force a neutral tone to her voice, and failing. “How did you know you weren’t straight?”

Penelope turned and simply stared at her for a long moment before giggling and saying: “Are you finally realizing you have a crush on Emily Prentiss?”

JJ sat up in her chair.

“What?”

“Aw darlin’,” Penelope said to her, tilting her head, ”You barely talked about your break up. You were too busy literally running from your feelings for her ever since you ran into her at the library. I had to finally ask her out for you.”

“I–” JJ stuttered. “I talked about my break up.”

“So to answer your question,” Penelope said, matter-of-factly, “I realized when I had my first crush on a girl, just like you’re doing now. Don’t worry about it too much, you’ll drive yourself crazy.”

JJ’s jaw had dropped.

“Babe, you came home one night babbling about how she taught you French,” Penelope giggled, “You might as well have held up a sign.”

JJ buried her face in her hands.

“Oh god,” JJ said. “Am I gay? What am I?”

Penelope walked over and tossed her arm around JJ’s shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

“Aww baby’s first girl crush,” she cooed, “So happy to witness it first hand. You might be gay! Or bi, or something else. Don’t worry too much about the terminology right now.”

Unfortunately, JJ was worrying too much. About not just the terminology.

Even if Emily was gay, or bi or whatever, she wouldn’t like someone like JJ. She was always a bit of a tomboy, barely knowing how to do make up and dressing like she was going to practise most days. JJ always felt a bit awkward when she dressed up, feeling most at home in joggers and a hoodie.

Emily, on the other hand, was all elegant with her pretty black hair, her perfect eyeliner and the way she always looked out together when she went out. Moreover, Emily was cool. She listened to music on vinyl and her bookshelf was filled with classic novels and smoked cigarettes. She lived in multiple countries, spoke more languages than JJ hoped to ever learn.

Emily’s mom was an ambassador. She had a nanny growing up. She had a single room and was paying out-of-state tuition. Well, her mom was probably paying her tuition.

JJ could only afford to be here because she was on a soccer scholarship, and barely had enough money to cover her caffeine addiction. The surprise small stipend from her new student government job was probably the thing keeping JJ from applying for a job off campus.

Emily would never like someone like JJ, she thought.

After checking herself in the mirror one final time, she looked at the time. 6:54. Emily and her friends would be there soon, and if JJ knew Spencer well, he would be showing up in just under a minute.

There was a knock at the door. She was right.

“Hi guys!” He said, entering their dorm room and taking his customary seat on the very edge of JJ’s bed. “Am I dressed properly? I wasn’t sure what to wear to a bar.”

He was wearing a button up, with a beige sweater vest over top, with slacks and converse to complete the outfit.

“Aw Spence,” JJ said. “You look great, I promise.”

“Remind me to take you to the mall to get some party clothes,” Penelope quipped.

“Those were two contradicting statements,” he complained.

Once Penelope had finished adding rhinestones to her makeup look, they opened the door to find Emily flanked by two boys, waiting in the hall.

Derek Morgan, JJ recognized, but the other one JJ hadn’t met before.

“Hello all!” Penelope called out from inside their room.

“Hi Derek, Emily,” JJ said politely, “I’m not sure we’ve met–“

She reached her hand out to shake the new boy’s hand. He was tall, with a shock of black hair and a serious expression on his face.

“I’m Jennifer, but my friends call me JJ.”

“Nice to meet you,” the boy said with a small—almost non-existent—smile, shaking her hand with a firm, confident grip. “I’m Aaron Hotchner.”

“His friends call him Hotch,” Derek piped up punching his shoulder in a friendly way.

“He’s pre-law,” Emily informed her, “we have a bunch of classes together.”

“I do not have that much experience with trivia,” Aaron admits, rubbing his shoulder and feigning injury.

“No need!” Penelope says, rounding up on the group, “Spencer here is basically a genius. You’re just a warm body.”

“I just have an eidetic memory!” He said, piping up from in the room.

With introductions complete, they headed to the small pub just off campus. It was a squat brick building tucked between a restaurant and an old book store. It had a nice back patio in the warmer months, and each Monday was trivia night.

Just inside, the bouncer drew big xs on their hands to indicate that they were underage, which were all promptly wiped off once they were inside and found a table. The atmosphere inside was relaxed, the staff not really caring if people were drinking underage on a Monday night if they didn’t cause trouble.

JJ loved this bar. It was old, with exposed brick walls and large wooden rafters over their heads. The ceilings were low and the bar was packed and loud, making the place feel cozy, yet not quite claustrophobic. On weekdays, it was mostly locals or upper year students, as their peers were more likely to try to drink underage on the weekends. The crowd was quite a few younger adults, with the occasional older couple or group of middle aged women having a girls night.

They found a table big enough for their group by just to the right of the bar, tucked out of sight, far from the bouncers. The six of them squeezing tight onto the rustic booth and shrugging off their coats.

Trivia started at 7:30 pm, so they still had time to get settled and acquire some drinks. JJ was squished between Penelope and Emily’s friend Aaron, who was explaining that he played forward on the men’s hockey team. JJ knew he seemed familiar, realizing that she and he had probably crossed paths at athletics functions.

“Did you guys rub the marker off your hand?” Spencer asked, too loudly, receiving a chorus of shushing in response.

“Dude,” Derek laughed, “Not so loud you’re gonna get us kicked out!”

“What do you mean?” He asked, the classic Reid obliviousness shining through.

Emily tossed a casual arm around his shoulders.

“You see,” she said, “we would like to drink this thing called alcohol tonight. If we have an x on our hands, we don’t get served.”

She pointed to the x on his hand.

“Speaking of which,” Aaron said, standing up, “I’m grabbing a beer, who’s with me?”

“Me!” Emily jumped up, with Derek on her heels, “What are you guys drinking? This rounds on me!”

JJ balked, drinks here were expensive. Did Emily actually want to buy them drinks? Or was she simply being nice. JJ should say no.

“Vodka cran, por favour!” Penelope responded before JJ could politely decline. “JJ drinks beer, and Reid will take a soda.”

“What kind of beer?”

“Whatever’s on tap,” JJ said sheepishly, feeling guilty about someone spending money on her. At the same time, with JJ’s baby face, there was little chance the bartender would buy that she was already 21.

“Root beer please!” Spencer called out after her, though Emily had already turned around, following the boys over to lean against the bar.

The bartender, a gorgeous young woman with shoulder length brown hair was serving Emily, leaning over the bar. Her eyes were rapt with attention as Emily ordered, even giving her a once over before she left to make their drinks.

Emily seemed to flirt back, but JJ could not hear what she said, the two women going back and forth for a few moments, their attention hardly broken by the other patrons.

JJ felt jealousy flare in her stomach.

As Emily’s fingers grasped the glass, the other girl’s hands lingered, and JJ watched the bartender wink at Emily before turning towards the other patrons. Emily had a cropped tank top, with a plaid shirt on top. Her tight jeans gripped her long legs, and her heeled boots gave an extra inch or so to her already impressive height. She looked hot. The bartender clearly saw it too.

She tried to push back that jealousy. She had no right to be possessive, Emily and she weren’t dating, or anything, they were friends. New friends.

“Your girlfriend is so good to us!” Penelope cooed, breaking JJ out of her thoughts.

JJ felt a blush spread across her face.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” she sputtered.

“Have you told her you like her yet?” Spencer asked.

“Guys,” JJ exclaimed, “this is not the time. She’s right there.”

“She has not,” Penelope replied. “Even though it’s so obvious that Emily likes her back.”

“Pen!” JJ said as she buried her face in her hands.

“Spencer you wouldn’t believe it!” she continued, unheeded, “Emily brought her cookies to the game!”

“She was just being nice!” JJ said, peeking out from between her fingers.

“She didn’t give me any cookies,” Spencer pointed out. “And we spent almost three hours in class together.”

As he said that, Derek, Aaron and Emily returned with not only alcohol, but also nachos and fries for the table. JJ, too polite to protest when being offered food, and who had the appetite of an athlete, dug in. She took a guilty sip of her beer, and felt Emily’s eyes on her.

Did Emily like her back? That couldn’t be true. JJ was just… Jennifer. JJ. No one special. Not like Emily. JJ decided not to linger on that thought, it wasn’t like JJ would risk their friendship by admitting she had feelings anyways.

“You know,” Spencer said between mouthfuls, “I’ve never done trivia before, but I’ve been told I’d be good at it.

“No shit, kid,” Derek replied, talking through a mouthful of nachos, “You talk like a textbook.”

Spencer looked like he was unsure whether or not to take that as a compliment.

“What are the topics?” Emily asked.

“They don’t tell you until you get here,” Penelope replied, “Someone should be by with papers and pencils.

As if summoned, a tall girl with short black hair came by, dropping off a pencil and a paper, split into four quadrants with ten blanks on each page.

“Who wants to write?” JJ asked, looking around the table.

Hotch was busy scanning the page for the topics: science, television, sports and music, and he didn’t realize the activity going on around him. Everyone, including Reid somehow, (Derek helped him) had stuck their finger to the tip of their nose, the official sign for ‘not it.’

He looked up, seeing the fingers and without comment he grabed the pencil.

“It’s for the best,” Emily said, “My handwriting is illegible.”

“Can vouch for that,” Derek laughed, “It’s like half cursive half something inhuman.”

Emily punched his shoulder and took another drink.

“So how does this normally work?” Hotch asked, gesturing towards her paper with the pencil.

“Question, two minutes to write down your answer, no phones,” Penelope replied, “Then we swap with a nearby team to mark it! And so on for four rounds.”

“There’s prizes,” JJ added. “Whoever gets the most right in the end wins, we hand in the sheets to the MC to enter.”

“Sweet,” Derek said.

“We need a name,” JJ said, looking up.

“The twinkies,” Emily blurted.

“The… twinkies?” Hotch repeated, incredulously.

“I don’t know,” Emily muttered, “I panicked.”

The group burst into laughter, which Emily laughed along with. She was a good sport.

“Let’s get Quizzical,” Penelope offered.

“I don’t get it,” Spencer said.

“Quiz me, daddy,” Penelope tried again, winking at Derek.

“Settle down now, little lady,” Derek said, laughing.

“We’re not doing that,” JJ laughed.

She wasn’t sure who looked more horrified at the idea, Spencer or Hotch.

“Counter intelligence,” Derek proposed instead, it has a nice ring to it and works with the trivia premise.

“That’s funny,” Penelope said. “And seems ok for the prudish ones amongst us.”

Hotch wrote that down on their page.

“Hello everyone,” the MC said through a microphone as the music quieted, a hush fell over the bar, with everyone listening to the women speak. “My name is Tara and I’ll be your MC tonight.”

Tara was beautiful, with curled hair tucked behind her ears and a friendly smile, she was tall, wearing high heels making her stand tall over the seated audience. JJ thought she might be a student, as she looked a bit familiar.

“Hi Tara!” Someone yelled out from the other side of the bar.

Tara chucked, “Hello Dave. Welcome all to Trivia Night at O’Keefe’s, we have brand-new questions and prizes for you. Are you excited?”

The audience whooped, Hotch pulled the paper close to him and readied his writing hand, taking a quick swig of his beer to prepare himself.

“We’re going to start off with some science questions,” the MC said.

The group looked expectantly at Spencer, who looked slightly nervous.

“First question,” Tara announced, “We’ll start by looking outside of our planet, at the others in our solar system. Scientists have long been able to calculate the masses of most planets, including Earth. It has taken longer to measure the masses of Venus and Mercury, primarily because these two planets lack what?”

“Moons, obviously,” Spencer said, too loudly. Other groups clearly overheard, writing the answer down on their cards.

“Reid,” Penelope scolded, “You’re on our team. Whisper please.”

“Sorry,” he murmured, taking a sip of his soda through a small straw.

“Question two: of what material is a rhinoceros horn made?”

“Bone?” Derek whispered to them, “They look boney.”

“That’s actually a common misconception,” Reid replied, “They’re actually composed of keratin, which is essentially hair.”

“Huh,” Derek tilted his beer in acknowledgement. Hotch wrote that down.

“How many hearts do octopuses have?”

“Three!” Emily hisses, before Spencer has the chance.

“Nice one,” Hotch murmured back to her.

“I like cephalopods,” Emily said, as explanation.

JJ desperately wanted to comment on that, but the game moved too quickly.

The next few questions were rapid fire, covering everything from the speed of a sneeze, to the surface area of the lungs, to the oxygen in the atmosphere, to which letters from the alphabet were missing from the periodic table (the answer was J and Q.)

JJ perked up when she heard the last question: “What are people who study or collect butterflies called?”

“Lepidopterists!” She said, triumphantly before the MC even listed the options.

Everyone looked at her, surprised about her beating even Reid to the punch.

“I- uh,” JJ stammered, “I collected butterflies as a kid.”

JJ caught Emily smiling at that. She looked away, embarrassed.

Next was music, which, between Hotch and his impressive understanding of dad rock and Penelope’s encyclopedic knowledge of current pop music, and Derek’s well-rounded passion for all genres, they did fine. Reid pouted, as his eidetic memory doesn’t quite work for things he hasn’t read.

JJ, unfortunately, was not any help. JJ liked music, but she did not bother memorizing facts about writers or sampling or anything like that. She just liked listening to it.

After that was sports, and that topic went by quickly with JJ, Derek and Hotch answering the questions with a high degree of confidence.

Hotch, who was already writing aggressively and getting into it, wrote more and more excitedly, and on the second to last sports question—about the composition of a baseball—he snapped the lead off the pencil right off.

This caused sheer chaos.

With no writing utensil, one more answer to write down, they scrambled. JJ shrugged helplessly, typically known as the mom friend in her group, she felt bad that she had nothing to offer. After a moment, Penelope discovered a fluffy pink gel pen she found at the bottom of her purse.

“Is the ink pink, too?” Hotch asked, raising an eyebrow.

He tried writing. The ink was pink and sparkly.

“Yes, sir,” Penelope replied.

“Did you just call me ‘sir’?”

“I don’t know what came over me.”

During the brief intermission between Sports and Television, somehow the Salem witch trials came up in conversation. (It was actually because Penelope had mentioned the Blair Witch Project and Spencer misheard, but that’s neither here nor there).

“She was four?” JJ demanded, “That doesn’t seem right.”

“Oh I read about this,” Penelope said, “Dorothy something, she was accused of witchcraft alongside her mother.”

“Dorothy Good, also referred to as Dorcas Good, was only four years old when she was arrested in 1692. According to her accusers, she had allegedly bitten them on their arms. She was actually placed in jail and interrogated by Salem officials where they took the fact that she had a pet snake as proof that she was a witch, as the snake would serve the role of her animal familiar.”

“She was a child,” JJ said, horrified.

“Yup,” Spencer replied, unfazed. JJ frowned but continued writing.

The last one was television, which was very clearly Penelope’s favourite.

“Friends ended in May 2004 after how many seasons?”

“Oh I know that one,” Hotch said, “Seven.”

Hotch wrote that down in pink ink, the fuzzy pom-pom danced as he wrote.

“Amy Poehler, Rob Lowe and Chris Pratt worked together on which US comedy series?”

“Parks and Rec,” Penelope said, “Parks and Recreation, God, I should rewatch that. Such amazing girl-power vibes in that one.”

“What were the names of the two government agents played by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in the 1993-2002 series X-Files?”

“Special Agent Fox Mulder and Dr. Dana Scully,” Emily said with a smile.

“Wait, you too Prentiss?” Derek said. “Nerding out with Reid tonight.”

“Guilty as charged,” Emily said, “What can I say, I’m a sucker for Gillian Anderson.”

JJ’s mind stuck on that comment. Was she simply a fan of the acting? Or was she implying some sort of attraction to the actress. JJ did not ask. Her mind was wandering for too long, all while looking at Emily, that she missed the next question.

Whatever it was, Hotch was informing her that the answer was ‘72 survivors’.

Questions about Saturday Night Live, The Office, Scooby-Doo and a few old-timey shows that they didn’t recognize followed.

“The last question for the night!” Tara announced, “It’s been lovely being your MC for tonight. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. You ready?”

The crowd cheered.

“Ok this one’s for all the nerds out there: what sci-fi series premiered in 1966?”

“Star Trek: The Original Series,” Reid hissed, struggling to keep his voice down. “Which was the beginning of a franchise that has now lasted over fifty years, spanning nine television series, thirteen films and assorted shorts, video games and novels.”

“Ok Mr. Spock,” Emily laughed, “Thank you for your brain.”

“Spock’s Brain is actually one of the best episodes in the Original Series,” he replied, JJ couldn’t tell if he had made a joke or was simply spouting another fact.

As trivia wrapped up, and the scores were being tallied, the bar roared back to life, with music booming and the attendees milling about near the bar, back at the darts and grouping around the tables.

She found herself chatting with Hotch and Penelope, about some question they were unsure about, but her eyes were fixed on Emily and Derek. Derek had a hand in the small of Emily’s back, guiding her past the crowd near the bar.

JJ wondered if there was really something more there, despite Penelope’s encouragement of her crush on Emily. Maybe she was already into Derek? He was very affectionate with all of his friends, especially Penelope, so maybe it was nothing. But still, Emily seemed to be reciprocating.

But the hand didn’t leave, it held her close, almost protectively, something a boyfriend would do.

JJ turned away, pushing the thoughts away and slamming the last of her third beer, scanning for where Spencer had run off to after the game wrapped up. He was seated with two other people at a table near the back, talking excitedly at them while they looked at him with rapt attention. Out of curiosity, she wandered over.

Maybe she can hang out with Spence as she banished the strange feelings of jealousy burning in her chest.

“Return to tomorrow?” the girl asked Spencer, leaning over the table in excitement.

“Return to tomorrow, season two, production number fifty-one,” Reid replied, “An alien named Sargon takes over Kirk’s body while two others take over Spock and Dr. Mulhall.”

JJ frowned, she had no idea what he was talking about, but recognized that it seemed like the plot of an episode of Star Trek.

“Alien races appearing?”

“Trick question, a race is never identified. Sargon is a disembodied mind?”

“Dr. McCoy quote?”

He looked stumped for a moment.

“Five, four, three, two-”

“I will not peddle flesh, I’m a physician!” He concludes enthusiastically.

This all appeared to be an extension of his trivia game. JJ was happy that he was making friends, despite him worrying that he wouldn’t fit in at a bar, he seemed to have found his people.

JJ gave him an affectionate pat on his shoulder before passing, on her way to the dart board. With Reid occupied, Derek and Emily flirting at the bar and Hotch and Penelope hitting it off, JJ decided to show some random boys up.

It would make her feel better.

There was a pair already at the board, tossing the darts fairly inaccurately. JJ asked if she could join, batting her eyelashes in a way she knew would grab their attention quickly.

They immediately welcomed her in, handing her some darts. She hit the nineteen, twenty and dead centre in quick succession. The rush of the game kept away her earlier feelings of jealousy, centering her in the moment and her goal.

The boys were floored. JJ was good at darts.

She played three rounds, slamming them each time easily. Amateurs. They were drunk, aggressive with their throwing, all force no finesse. Typical men.

After the third round, they left for the bar, offering to grab her a drink to celebrate her win, she followed close by, knowing better than to leave a drink unattended, but also not passing up the opportunity to drink for free when it was a silly boy paying.

Maybe she should rebound after her break up and sleep with a random man. She looked at the man in front of her, he was tall, with dark hair and hazel eyes, wearing a tight fitting white shirt. His companion had sandy brown hair and dark eyes, but neither of them were stirring anything in JJ’s heart. Both were objectively attractive, but neither were the beautiful brunette that lived across the hall.

JJ accepted her drink graciously, knowing she had to fill another few minutes of small talk before it was appropriate for her to rejoin her friends.

The one boy was telling her about darts, in detail, despite the fact that she had informed him that she did know how to play, and had just beat him at the game.

“Can I steal JJ from you guys for a sec?” She felt a hand on her bicep and Emily’s sweet voice in her ear.

JJ turned and the taller girl was next to her, her hand resting lightly on her bare arm, feeling electricity where their skin touched.

“Uh, yeah,” the brown haired boy said, JJ didn’t remember his name, “Of course.”

JJ smiled apologetically before allowing herself to be led away.

“Thought you could use an out,” Emily whispered in her ear, “You looked bored.”

“Thank you,” JJ replied. “I was.”

They stopped further down the bar, standing close, with Emily looking down at her, their hips brushing each other. JJ could smell her perfume over the ambient smell of alcohol, bar food and the old building.

“Men,” Emily laughed, “Am I right?”

They laughed. JJ wasn’t sure exactly what she meant but she thought she got the gist. JJ gulped down a sip of her drink, a vodka soda that the boy had chosen for her.

“Speaking of, are you and Derek, uh,” JJ asked, nervously, “A thing?”

Emily’s eyes widened, and her lips tugged into a smile, she began to laugh.

“Derek Morgan?” She guffawed, “Absolutely not, that boy is like my brother. Oh my god, JJ you thought we were together?”

JJ felt herself sigh a breath of relief, hoping that it was not visible on her face.

“I just saw how he was at the bar,” JJ explained, “I just assumed.”

“Oh that,” Emily smiled, “I asked him to basically pretend to be my boyfriend, a beard if you will. Keeps guys hands from wandering.”

JJ frowned, that she could empathize with.

“But no, we’re very much just friends.”

JJ looked over to their table: Derek, Hotch and Penelope were currently playing a game that seemed to consist of tossing coins into Reid’s empty soda can.

There was a comfortable silence for a moment, both girls listened to the music, standing closely, closer than they needed to.

Emily ordered them another round, and by that point JJ had given up protesting, realizing that this is just what Emily did.

Grabbing their drinks, Emily handed JJ’s to her. They smiled and raised their glasses in cheers.

“To new and old friends,” Emily said, “and to us winning at trivia!”

“I can drink to that!”

Both accidentally raised their arms too enthusiastically, their glasses crashed together. Emily’s grip slipped and the glass went tumbling out of her hand, right onto JJ. She was suddenly damp and sticky, the liquid soaking through JJ’s thin shirt.

“Oh my god,” Emily gasped, “I’m so sorry.”

“Shit,” JJ gasped, putting her own drink down onto the bar and stepping back. “It’s ok, it was both of our faults.”

“Let’s get you to the bathroom,” Emily said, with a hand pressed to the small of her back, leading her away from the bar. As an afterthought, Emily grabbed JJ’s drink and carried it with them.

A few people gave her concerned glances, one patron offering her a small napkin that did basically nothing. JJ wasn’t mad, it was fully an accident, but now she was just desperate to dry off.

Now, JJ was acutely aware of Emily’s hand on her lower back. Warm and firm, it guided her into the bathroom.

As soon as the door shut, the silence made JJ’s ears ring. Emily had turned to the paper towel dispenser, yanking probably four feet of it off and bunching it up before handing it to JJ.

It was a small bathroom basically just the room, one sink and no hand dryer, much to JJ’s sadness.

JJ hoisted herself up onto the counter, taking the paper towel from Emily, patting her shirt hopelessly. The alcohol soaking into the cotton and leaving the shirt a noticeably darker blue. JJ sighed.

“I’m such a klutz,” Emily said apologetically. “My mom always was on my case for it.”

“It’s not your fault, Em,” JJ said, “it was an accident.”

Emily grabbed more paper towels, moving closer and helping her, patting on the shirt, over her stomach.

JJ held her breath, realizing that Emily was so close. JJ could look up, see Emily’s face, looking concentrated, with her perfect red lips right there. Her strong hands were carefully dabbing at her shirt, fussing over JJ in a way that made her heart skip a beat. Emily’s collarbones led down to her chest, visible with her low cut chest. JJ felt herself blush, looking up to the ceiling, feeling embarrassed at these thoughts.

JJ’s top hadn’t changed much, besides it feeling a bit less damp, it still showed the liquid clear as day.

“This is doing just about nothing,” JJ sighed, clearing her throat. “Maybe I should just go home. It’s getting late anyways.”

“Nonsense,” Emily said. “You can wear this.”

JJ’s jaw dropped as Emily shrugged her plaid shirt off her shoulders, revealing her tank top underneath and handed it to her. JJ took it, dumbly, closing her mouth but saying nothing.

Emily turned around, clicking the lock on the door, and leaning her shoulder against it, just in case. She took a sip out of JJ’s glass, casually, as if JJ was not about to take her shirt off behind her.

Emily’s back was to her, but JJ sat, frozen, holding this new shirt in her hand. JJ pulled her wet shirt off, very aware of being naked in front of Emily. Well, shirtless, with her white bra visible, but still feeling incredibly naked.

She quickly buttoned up the plaid shirt, it was oversized and a warm grey with hints of green and navy, feeling very incredibly soft.

Warm and dry, JJ felt the shirt envelop her in what felt like a hug. A hug from Emily.

JJ hopped off the counter and smoothed out her new shirt, Emily’s shirt. JJ folded up her wet shirt and held it in her left hand. The other girl turned and looked JJ up and down, with an unreadable expression on her face.

“You look good,” Emily commented.

“Thank you,” JJ managed.

They stared at each other, for a moment, the room filling with a tension that made her shiver. The music thumped from the other room, but JJ’s heartbeat was deafening. She had accidentally stripped a layer off of Emily, and desperately wanted to take more off of her. Emily’s black tank was riding up, revealing a small strip of her stomach above her high waisted jeans. Emily’s face was flushed from the alcohol, her pale skin becoming pink on her cheeks and nose. JJ thought back to that morning when she had caught Emily in her PJs, of what she knew was under her shirt. This too hugged her curves, revealing hints about what lay beneath.

“We better get back,” JJ found herself whispering.

The bathroom was small, so the two of them were packed together in the tiny space. Emily suddenly leaned forward, closing the distance between them, reaching her hands out towards JJ.

JJ’s heart raced, unsure what to expect. Was Emily going to kiss her? No. Why would she? Oh my god what if she was?

Emily’s hand carefully fixed her collar, tugging on it slightly.

“There,” Emily whispered, “you’re perfect.”

JJ closed her eyes at the feeling of Emily’s hands on her. Sighing slightly.

She chastised herself for being silly. Emily was just fixing her collar. Being a good friend.

“Let’s get back,” JJ said.

“If we have to,” Emily replied. JJ tried not to read into that too much.

They returned to their table, squeezing back in tightly with their overcrowded group of friends. They were in a heated debate about the Zodiac killer. Neither girl knew how the conversation got there, but Emily immediately joined the conversation.

After a few minutes, and after quite a few sly looks from Penelope, the MC tapped on the mic, gaining the audience's attention.

“We officially have a winner!” Tara announced, “With 36 points, it’s Counter Intelligence!”

Their table erupted in cheers. They had won! There were a flurry of high fives, hugs and fist bumps in their celebration.

Tara, the MC came over to their table to congratulate them. She told them that they had beat out the second place by one point.

“Impressive work everyone,” Tara said, “that’s close to a high score, and these were hard questions.”

“We have a great team,” Penelope said with a grin.

“I can tell,” Tara replied. “Are you all going to come back next week? It’s Halloween themed!”

They looked at each other, then nodded at her. It was a plan.

“See you then!” Tara said.

She gave them their prizes, which were mugs with the bars logo printed in white on the green mugs. She would treasure it.

JJ finds herself yawning, catching the eye of Emily, who said: “we better get JJ to bed, looks like she’s fading.”

Please, JJ thought sleepily, resting her drunk head on her hand, take me to bed.

Sitting down, JJ’s five or so drinks had hit her hard, and she dreaded standing up and risking stumbling. She was drunk. JJ wasn’t a light weight, but over their time at the bar, she had gotten quite a bit of alcohol into her system.

“Come on, sweetheart,” JJ could feel Penelope grab her arm and hoist her up. JJ leaned on her, feeling a warm affection for her friend in the moment.

Together, they walked home in the cold night air. Laughing, chatting and walking together amicably, all holding their prizes in hand. JJ leaned into Penelope’s side, feeling warm despite the chill of the air. Something felt incredibly right about that moment, those people.

She didn’t want it to end.

They went their separate ways from Hotch once they got to campus, bidding him farewell, not before Penelope added him to a group chat titled “The Team 🕺” in reference to their trivia playing. Hotch promised he’d join them all again next week.

Once they climbed the stairs to their floor, Reid continued up to his room and the four of them found themselves trying to quietly return to their rooms without getting caught by the RA.

Despite being served for the entire night, if they got caught drinking underage they would get in a lot of shit, especially Derek and JJ on their athletic scholarships.

Muffled whispers and giggling filled the air as they walked through the common room.

Derek hugged them all goodbye—he seemed to be a hugger JJ surmised—and went to his room down the hall.

“Oh!” JJ said, spinning to face Emily in the hall. Penelope had already entered their dorm, with the door closing behind her. “I can give your shirt back tomorrow! I can… er… wash it for you. It probably smells like beer now.”

Emily gazed at her, from over her shoulder as she unlocked her door, looking JJ up and down.

“Keep it,” she said. “It looks good on you.”

JJ would swear she saw Emily wink at her, but couldn’t be sure.

Emily disappeared into her dorm room, and JJ went into hers.

She slept with the shirt folded neatly next to her pillow, the smell of Emily’s perfume filling her senses as she dreamt.

#criminal minds #criminal minds tv #jemily #gravelyhumerus cm college au #emily prentiss x jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #cm #prentiss x jj #jennifer jareau #fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfic #FINALLY HAVE AN UPDATE FOR YOU #its almost 7k #enjoy :)#my post

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ryuichirou · 5 years ago

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Sorry if this is personal but is it tough to be LGBT in Russia/ produce LGBT content in Russia (I mean it’s the internet but still)

Oh, this is an interesting topic… I’ll answer both of these questions and start with the content.

While being LGBT isn’t illegal per-se, there are a lot of limitations that LGBT people meet here. When it comes to creating content, for example, there is the Gay propaganda law. You might’ve heard about this one, it basically means “you can’t produce any content that portrays LGBT in any way, because it’ll make our children turn gay and we don’t want that”. But the thing is, the wording in this law is so… convenient for the State, they can basically call anything an illegal propaganda if they want to. Technically what we’re doing over here is illegal too. If they’d want to call it illegal, that is.

This is the reason people who publish works that have LGBT-related content in them may have issues in the process. There are ways to avoid them, but it is still very hard to officially publish something that has any “iffy” content. Sometimes putting a “18+” label on the book/movie/tv-series/etc helps, sometimes selling said piece of media only on the internet helps, but still: there is always a possibility that a publisher might not be able to produce the product they want. Censorship is a thing, bans are a thing, all of this exists, but you never know whether you’ll be hit by it or not. Please keep in mind that Russia is also an extremely corrupted country.

If you’re just a content creator and post your stuff on the internet only, it’s usually ok. Homophobes exist, but they tend to exist somewhere else, not near fandom places. There are tons of artists from Russia who draw explicit stuff (and a lot of these people are LGBT), a lot of them print their merch and sell it on the geek art markets, and even though there were cases where a printing house refused to print someone’s slash illustration, it’s usually ok. But.

But but but. You still can be targeted and sued for the most ridiculous stuff. For example, you can read about Yulia Tsvetkova’s case, who was arrested for her body positive series of drawings + a drawing in support of LGBT-families under the “distribution of pornography” and “gay-propaganda” laws respectively. There are tons of drawings like these on the internet, but Yulia was specifically targeted because she is an activist who wasn’t quiet about her support of women and LGBT. As you can see, the “gay propaganda” law is a very convenient way to shut people up.

Another example that comes to mind is two gay guys who got married in a country that allows you to get married when you’re not a citizen (I think they did it in Denmark), and they tried making their marriage legal in Russia too because it doesn’t really contradict any law. They fled the country because they started getting threats and their passports (along with their marriage) were deemed invalid. They were also charged with a fee for “damaging their passports”.

Now our wonderful government, which loves cheating during its elections to the point where you get 146% total when the max is 100%, made this wonderful terrible election for changing the constitution. Their changes are a joke (not really funny tho) and its own topic, but one of the changes was that marriage is “a union between a man and a woman”. Now it says that in the constitution.

TL;DR: If they want to get you, they’ll find a way to get you. But if you’re just a rando who posts slashy smut on your twitter, they don’t care, at least not yet. They will use it against you if you start annoying the police. There are a lot of homophobes but the fandom spaces are usually relatively peaceful.

Personally, we’re lucky enough not to face any severe problems yet. We’re careful irl (people usually think we’re related lol) and only some of our friends know about us. We don’t show any affection to each other publicly. On the internet we’re surrounded by people who are friendly, and once again, people from the fandom spaces are usually more progressive than a regular Russian Pyotr or Oleg.

I, being an idiot that I am, used to draw tons of slash (nsfw too!) at classes right in front of my teachers while I was at the uni. And even though it definitely wasn’t very wise of me, no one ever approached me with “umm are those gays, are you gay too” question. The only ones that were interested by my drawings were two straight girls who read slash fanfiction. Maybe the rest of those who noticed were too shy :(

Katsu: I was always an idiot who likes to flex things as a teenager, so when Ryu and I started dating, I mentioned it in my school to some of my classmates. I’m pretty sure it started some nasty rumors, one guy was openly disgusted, but other than that, I haven’t heard anything from them and they never told teachers or parents, which could be consequences that I never considered. The only thing he said was “Are you a lesbian?” which wasn’t really offensive even though I’m not really a lesbian, but I was like... was that supposed to be an offensive word? Because it wasn’t. Right now I realise that I was lucky not to get beaten up lol I’m from a small city (not a town) and not the best district, but I guess nobody cared that much about this info even if they heard about it, plus people were/are usually afraid of me, so not even the worst boys who were obviously stronger (like that disgusted guy) touched me. I only mention it because I know for a fact that some of the people (like 2-3) were usually openly aggressive, it’s not like the worst class you can get in Russia where the only solution is to fucking suffer.

At the uni, I heard our group discussing lesbians, since students there were mostly girls by another disgusted individual, and I actually wanted to say to her something with a “Come at me bro” attitude (I tend to do that when I’m pissed off), but I just decided not to intervene, probably because these were the first couple of days in my first year. I still told one guy like a month later, he was rather cool with it. Anyway, as Ryu mentioned, there are places and people where you can mention it and get away with it, and where you better keep your mouth shut. Most of the country is the second option, but there’re for a fact a lot of nice and accepting people even out of the fandom. We don’t talk about our relationship for the most part because we don’t really need to, so here’s that. Sorry for being so talkative lol

#replies

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femme-enby · 5 years ago

Text

@miss-ogeny

We should be pushing for legalization of prostitution so that way when prostitutes want to leave, they can AND they can get help from the government without fear of arrest.

I’m speaking for those who are prostitutes because it IS a choice. You do know that a lot of fast food employees WANT to get out of the job, but CANT for “various reasons” though, right? So are you protesting for them too? Or is it only the sex workers you care about?

And is it societal grooming for child actors? Women who want to be models? They’re all selling their bodies too.

Every single physical job makes someone a commodity. Maids, nannies, construction workers, models, actors, all these people sell their bodies, sell their appearances and/or their physical abilities.

You’re talking like construction workers don’t try to sell themselves to the boss by saying “oh I’m strong, I can lift 200lbs” or models who say “oh, I’m all natural, here are my measurements” shit- all of us sell ourselves to bosses when you really think about it. Even office workers sometimes have to be like “I can type __ words per minute! I can multitask easily!” Prostitution is no different, except for the fact that due to it being illegal, there is a stigma about it and there are less resources for sex workers when it comes to getting help. And you do realize that some people genuinely don’t care, right? They’re working a job. Just like I fucking hated rude, entitled customers in fast food, sex workers deal with assholes too. Some of them see that job as better than say, fast food, or retail, so instead of using language that targets the sex worker, target toxic masculinity, misogyny, and the government’s approach to sex work.

You say “do you want some man to walk up and offer to pay you for sexual favors” like that doesn’t already happen. Like we don’t get unsolicited nudes and requests for nudes for FREE. Frankly if someone offered to pay I’d be much happier than the many who ignore my sexuality, gender, and relationship status to demand FREE nudes simply because I dress appropriately for hot weather. This is not the fault of sex workers- it is the fault of society which allows men to internalize emotions, to think they “need” sex, as well as that “boys will be boys shit. Hold men accountable for their OWN actions instead of blaming their actions on the victims.

All you are doing is speaking over sex workers and making excuses for men. All you are doing is placing the blame ON sex workers for doing a job instead of on the men. All you are doing is equating sex work to sex trafficking by including those that were forced into it as your reason to be against prostitution.

Did you know that legalizing gay marriage helped the economy? While that wasn’t the point of legalizing it, it’s a generally positive outcome. Same would happen if prostitution was legalized, and as I’ve said, that would also allow prostitutes to reach out publicly for help should they need it

I have done research. If you would like I could send you the whole paper I did, including sources, on why we should legalize prostitution.

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0itmelex0 · 4 years ago

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because it’s been a while since we talked about these two. Kyra and Arlee are… so freaking cute, but also do they technically sorta fall under the enemies to lovers umbrella?? I’m curious. This is also me attempting the crossover ask idk if it’s going well or if I just got really off topic

Kyra and Arlee.... my beloved bbies. I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve talked about them, especially since they’re just so amazing.

In terms of them falling under the enemies to lovers umbrella? I’d somewhat consider them that. So if you remember correctly, them getting together is taking place within the AU of Jon and Arleena being raised by the Dawnguards alongside Rhaenys. I haven’t planned out a lot of fine details, but the fact that at least Arleena goes to King’s Landing as another spy of sorts so that the Dawnguards can keep intel on what’s happening is a definite. So the fact that Arleena is from an opposing group and is mostly in King’s Landing for not an ally of the crown, who includes some of Kyra’s family, would naturally put them under the umbrella of enemies to lovers even if it isn’t the full on “oh I hate you” type of thing.

If I were to get specific of the dynamic that I envision for them over the course of the AU I’d probably say that they’re strangers —> friends —> lovers —> estranged friends (?) —> lovers

Okay, now into my ideas for these two within the AU... there is a lot so I’mma put it all under the cut

They meet at King’s Landing after Maecy introduces her new handmaiden named Arleena to her daughter, Kyra. There’s a somewhat instant click of at least familiarity and small connection whatever it is, there’s just something, and momma Maecy sniffs this out instantly

Whenever Kyra and Maecy talk unless it’s super personal type things, Maecy “casually” has Arleena at least nearby. Always ends up with Kyra and Arlee talking, doesn’t matter what or how... it just happens. After a few times of this happening, Maecy totally doesn’t just leave the room and the girls are so into whatever conversation they’re having that they don’t notice that Maecy has left

Eventually it gets to a point where the girls actually seek out each other to talk and get to know one another without momma Maecy making that push

They’re around each other so often that Maecy decides “oh hey, how about Arlee becomes Kyra’s handmaiden instead? I already have a couple and it’s kinda unnecessary for me to have a lot”.... yeah Maecy totally wasn’t trying to set anything up

Kyra totally doesn’t need a handmaiden and has denied needing them in the past but... yknow she ain’t denying this time

It’s less of Arleena helping Kyra with things that handmaidens do and more so them just hanging out

They start practicing using swords together even though both are very good at using a sword... kinda takes Kyra by surprise of how well Arlee handles herself with a sword

Basically at this point, Arleena has failed with her intended mission of being in King’s Landing, but she has genuinely gotten good information but it’s Sani doing a lot of the intel collecting. Poor woman has been doing it for 20+ years but it’s okay

Kyra and Arlee go to the Red Keep’s garden after Arlee mentions her favorite flower which is bellflowers btw to see if the garden grew them, which it did. Kyra picks a bellflower and puts it in Arlee’s hair, specifically weaved in a braid that Kyra herself made prior. Then that’s when the two have their first kiss

Those two have no idea what to do and in all honesty, they don't talk for a while like a few days to a week and it's after Kyra talked to momma Maecy and papa Russal, he's alive in this, yay! who happened to be in King's Landing for a brief time, that Kyra is able to actually confront Arleena

They kiss again and that's when they actually get together

Kyra decides to leave with papa Russal to go back to Tarth for a time, Arleena comes with. Totally just because Arleena is Kyra's handmaiden and not because they're dating now

If you don't believe this is them on Tarth, then you're lying to yourself

Everything is great for a while, they're just two girls in love with no problems

It's when Arleena needs to return to the Dawnguards for reasons that it starts crumbling

Kyra finds out through a letter Arleena has gotten that there's things that Arleena hasn't told her

She confronts Arleena about the letter she founds, and that's when Arleena reveals the fact that she's the daughter of Rhaegar Targaryen, aka the man who nearly killed Kyra's father on the trident

Just a lot is revealed to Kyra actually. Dawnguards. . . the fact that Lyanna Stark is Arleena's mother, that Lyanna Stark is alive, the fact that Maecy was aware of who Arleena really was

Kyra feels betrayed and lied to, even after Arleena explains and tries to defend her actions. Basically too late at this point

Arleena leaves Tarth and goes back to the Dawnguards for the reasons needed

Both girls are just in a not so good point in life

Kyra tries to move on and just continue with her life

Arleena deals with Dawnguard things. . . she totally doesn't end up killing Daltis after she finds out his true intentions and how he's not as good as he's acted, how corrupt he truly was. Arlee becomes leader of the Dawnguards afterwards

It's when Arleena gets intel that Cersei is having a worrying amount of wildfire produce alongside the fact that Kyra Tarth is back in King's Landing that she attempts to return in order to talk to Kyra again

It's because of the argument that Kyra and Arlee get into that saves Kyra, Maecy, and Russal from dying in the destruction of the Great Sept of Baelor

Kyra and Maecy go to the Dawnguards with Arleena after deciding King's Landing is very much not safe. Russal is so fucking hesitant and not a fan with this idea, but he knows how much Lyanna meant to Maecy and how despite the major strain between the girls, how much Arleena means to Kyra

They spend a while with the Dawnguards. It's nice to see momma Maecy happy to see her best friend again, but it's still a bit weird for Kyra and Arleena for a while.

They're kinda friends? It's hard to deny that connection they've shared since the moment they met, but that barrier is still there for how Arleena lied about basically everything

It's when the Dawngaurds head to the North to help House Stark take Winterfell back from the Boltons, and stay in the North to help against the white walkers eventually that Kyra and Arlee head in the direction of becoming what they were

But honestly everything is kinda weird overall, kinda an uncertain time as the North prepares for the white walkers and trying to gain allies to save Westeros

Both girls fight in the Battle of Winterfell alongside the Dothraki, the Unsullied, Dany with her dragons, the Dawnguards, the Northernmen, Free Folk, and a few sworn houses under House Baratheon and ofc any other groups I forgot to mention against the Night King

Kyra and Arlee are both quite stubborn so they didn't resolve anything prior to the battle. . . they totally should have though, but they didn't

It's when Kyra sees Arleena almost freaken die during the battle that she realizes that it's not worth living a life with resentment against people you care about

Kyra saves Arlee from dying and they continue fighting side by side for the rest of the battle, being the badasses they are

They are just so exhausted by the end of the battle that they collapse on the ground together, it hasn't fully settled in the amount of loss that has happened

Kyra and Arleena look at each other while on the ground, and Kyra whispers "I never stopped loving you" and that's when they kiss again for the first time in a long time

Honestly, these two need a break at this point. Between dealing with the losses from the battle and dealing with whatever they have, they deserve a break

But nah, they don't get it, they have to deal with Cersei

The battle at King's Landing alongside the assassination of Dany just adds to the outside burden and weighs them down, but they're working through it

During the great council meeting, both of them are there

When Bran is offered the chance of becoming King of the Six Kingdoms, him with his Three Eyed Raven weird vibes, he denies it and says somebody else is meant to take the place

He's absolutely alluding to Arleena with the fact she was raised to become a leader and all this stuff he shouldn't know but since he's the Three Eyed Raven, he does know

Arleena being the flustered girl she is of being put on the spot by this weird ass kid, she is hesitant as fuck but since many of the people there have seen what kind of leadership she has and the fact of how much she truly knows Westeros from growing up with the Dawnguards honestly more than some of them combined, they agree to the idea of her becoming queen so she accepts

Kyra is so fucking happy and proud of her, but in the back of her mind the idea of because of the role Arleena now has, things might not go back to what they were between the two of them

Arleena requests for Kyra to stay in King's Landing with her at least for a time, which Kyra absolutely agrees to

That night, the two spend time alone to talk

For context, they're not officially dating dating like they had before all that time ago but they're basically dating

In that time of privacy, Arlee asks if Kyra will become her queen consort

Kyra doesn't quite know what to say, but the fact of Arleena saying she will deal with any and all of the criticism thrown at her by the houses of Westeros alongside the Faith that might come with making gay marriage legal just so that they could be together is what helps her decide that she'd agree when able

Thankfully with the amazing Samwell Tarly as the Grand Maester, it isn't much of a battle to legalize gay marriage in Westeros. There's a bit of backlash, but mostly from the Faith but whatever, having church have a big influence on government is a no go with this queen

Arleena refuses to have an official fancy schmancy coronation yet

The two girls are just estatic and have grown closer during this time after the council meeting until up to this point

Arleena asks Kyra again if she'll become her wife and the Queen Consort of the Six Kingdoms, to which Kyra says yes to

They have a fancy ass wedding, but it's not a huge wedding. Arleena is the Queen of the Six Kingdoms after all, it has to be fancy

Arleena finally decides to set up her official coronation, and both her and Kyra are crowned as queens of the Six Kingdoms

#0itmelex0: answered #got ocs #oc: arleena snow #arleena: ask #ship: kyraxarleena #i have kyra x arleena brain rot #can you tell?#i totally haven't thought about this for a while #there's also a lot more to this au overall #but i decided to focus mainly just on kyra and arlee #otherwise this would be so much longer

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kainumbernine009 · 4 years ago

Text

I literally cannot do anything else until I get this out.

I’m... really not okay.

And when I say that, I’m not mentally unstable. I say that because I’m tired of waiting on empty promises, I’m tired of never having money in our account, I’m tired of living in a fucking city where half of the white people fucking worship the ground Trump walks on, and where most of the gay community has so much messy drama that it’s worse than middle school. And I went to a rough middle school.

I never talk about my past, because I don’t like to. It sucked. HARD. Being and only child in my family was nothing less than torture, especially as a closeted queer person. We grew up in the white Christian part of Nashville that dominated Music Row in the 90′s and early 2000′s. I played basketball with Alan Jackson’s daughter, and being around famous people was just no big deal. But, my parents decided to leave Nashville after my dad lost his job at TPAC, and we moved down south an hour to the town where the KKK got started (Pulaski, TN).

I had maybe two non-white people in my private Christian school growing up. I was never afraid of Black people, but my parents showed their racist asses quick when we moved there. The KKK has never left America, guys, no matter how many articles you read or studies you do. From 2005 to 2009 I saw a white town show its very worst to the Black community. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a march for “White Christians for Purity” the summer before Obama got elected. The disgust I felt inside was palpable. I had all kinds of friends in school, and I didn’t give TWO SHITS who they were or what they looked like... but I saw children my age, being brainwashed by their parents, that “white” is “right.”

Ever since then, I have been learning and growing about the issues of race. I remember my white classmates using the N word and getting away with it. I remember hearing about the principal at the high school punishing all the Black kids but not the white kids. I remember being invited to a church south of town that was a historically Black church, and how nice the ladies were to me for coming.

But I’ll never forget the racism that the religious groups promoted there, especially First Baptist Church and the 12 Tribes. I’ll never forget how FBC told me that my friend was going to Hell because she killed herself. I’ll never forget my mom telling me not to marry a Black man because of “impure genes.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THE INJUSTICES I SAW WHITE PEOPLE DOING TO BLACK PEOPLE THERE. NEVER.

And thank God, I have shaken the burden of religious guilt, but I still fight against this mentality. I live in a place that’s usually not even 10 minutes away from Trump-humping, sister-fucking, meth-addicted Confederate cunts in any direction. And we’re even closer to the rich white people who silently supported him, upset that their taxes would go up because of Biden.

And in the past four years since Trump got elected, I’ve gotten married, graduated college with honors, started my own photography business, and was making more than my husband there for a minute. I did my own taxes, marketing, editing, and everything. And then I came out as trans.

I lost everything.

I lost my studio. I lost friends. I had rumors started about me. I had people post hate messages on my wall. I had people at my drag shows tell others not to tip me, for whatever fucking reasons. I’ve had bosses give cis people jobs over me, and I’ve had government workers give me second looks when I hand them my license.

It. Fucking. Sucks. To. Live. Here. Like. This.

Oh yeah, did I mention I’m also a witch/medium? I’ve talked to dead people before and have told their relatives things I shouldn’t have known otherwise about their grandparents. Like, this information doesn’t even exist on Google. And I’m attuned to reiki. I’m always aware of what’s happening on at least SOME metaphysical level. This is a gift that I’ve had to go through life developing and learning about myself, with no one’s help but me.

I didn’t even know until I was an adult that I have autism and ADHD.

I’ve taken bullets from people who were about to kill themselves. I’ve yelled at 5th grade music classrooms for doing racist dance moves and appropriating Native Americans (I have a degree in Music Education K-12). I’ve consoled kids in classrooms who suddenly have panic attacks. AND I’ve told horny teenagers to stay in their fucking lane and respect the girls around them. I’ve apparently been an inspiration to those around me, but inspiration NOR exposure pays the bills. I’ve already had COVID, and so has my husband, but I knew that after graduating college that I would never have a fulfilling life being a music teacher in Tennessee’s public schools.

And now that we have COVID, and an orange, small-dicked, pedophilic, rape apologizing, dirty, crusty white president who STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, who is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING HIS FOLLOWERS SEND DEATH THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I really don’t know what the fuck else to do other than go burn down all the houses I know of in North Georgia that belong to these Christian sex cult pedophiles and call it a day. My girlfriend unfortunately was born into one of those families, and I know just how bad it can get. In fact, her dad’s lawyer threatened me with blackmail earlier in November, so that was fun!

And now, on December 11, 2020, I’m still sitting here in the same fucking house, doing the same fucking things I’ve been doing all year - trying to get a job and failing horribly. I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS COVID BULLSHIT AND OUR INCOMPOTENT CUNT OF A PRESIDENT! And there’s only ever one other person I’ve ever called a cunt... my own mother.

I’ve lived in many places. I’ve met many different people. I’ve made mistakes, and have grown, but there’s one thing for damn sure that I always make sure to do, every single fucking day.

I ALWAYS try to do better.

In addition to this, I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, unless they have done something directly to me to negate that. If I know that someone believes in something that directly harms me or my family, I don’t even associate with them. I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t need it. And everyone else should, too.

The problem with some of y’all is that you care about the wrong things. Like will Becky text me back or did I get front row seats to that concert, or did I slave my life away to capitalism just so that I can own a Mercedes and have my friends jealous. I’ve had way too many dear death experiences to know that EVERY single fucking day is a gift. EVERY day.

I don’t want to be remembered first for the art I create. I want to be remembered for my character. I want to be remembered as the courageous person who never backed down in the face of adversity. But when you live in a place that already hates you and that is against you, that’s really fucking hard. Trust me. My marriage went from a cis straight passing couple to a white gay passing couple. I’ve seen how people’s attitudes changed around me as I transitioned. I know what it feels like to slowly lose a piece of your privilege you were born with.

So yeah, I kinda get a little fucking upset when I see people saying All Lives Matter, or when I see doctors refusing to treat trans patients in pandemics, or when I see cops YET AGAIN harassing Black people only a few blocks away from my house for no other reason than racism. And at this point, anyone who thinks they know me but only knows what people think they know about me can suck my entire ass and eat ten dicks. I don’t give a FUCK about who you are or what you’ve done. If you treat me or other people with no respect for no reason other than to be an asshole, you’re just plain shit. If you SERIOUSLY believe every little rumor and lie that someone tells about me before meeting me, fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.

What I can’t stand is people doing or saying things just to get a rise out of me or others. I thought we left petty shit in high school. Some of the people that “know” me really need to fucking grow up and grow a pair and either say what they want to my face, or stay mad. I’m tired of playing fucking petty games with y’all. We have a whole ass pandemic to solve.

So here’s the ultimatum... if you agree that Black Lives Matter and that queer people deserve basic human rights, EVEN THE ONES YOU HATE, then that’s the bare minimum to even be a decent person. If you can’t even do those things, then I don’t fucking know what else to say to you.

So NBC, maybe not have John Mulaney joke about my license debacle with my gold van on SNL, and Seth Meyers... maybe HIRE ME INSTEAD of Mulaney because clearly y’all don’t know about the south as much as I do? Oh, and that gazeebo joke with Lee University... I caught that. I may have autism, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I mean. I’m funny when I’m given the chance. And yeah, I’m on a watchlist, but who the fuck isn’t these days? At least all my secrets are out for the world to see, and I have a bangin’ tattoo.

I’m tired of everyone being like “omg, I’ve seen what he can do, it’s fantastic!” or “omg you’re so funny haha” and bragging on me and then NOT FUCKING HIRING ME. I’m TIRED of waiting on something that’s clearly at this point never coming.

I don’t even have testicles, and my balls are bigger than most of the cis men I have EVER met.

So, if you want to help me, or hire me, or get me out to an audition... I’ll be there. But until then, I’m so fucking MAD at some of these producers. Yeah, my mom is a cunt, but she worked in various forms of digital production from the 1980′s until she retired this year. She taught me SO MUCH about directing, writing, shooting, and more. I know how these things are supposed to run behind the scenes. I know what the fuck I’m doing, and I don’t take constructive criticism like a bitch. I actually WANT to be criticized, so I can do even better.

So PLEASE, for the love of Christ... y’all need to get your priorities together AND PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME OUT OF THE LOOP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. Grow a fucking pair and either call me, email me, or leave me alone. It’s really not that fucking hard. Looking at you, Lorne Michaels.

Oh and someone tell my husband what the fuck’s been going on because I’m tired of him gaslighting me about it.

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tussive · 5 years ago

Quote

I don’t care anymore. I used to have some type of social relevance in my act, and there was a point where I really gave a shit about stuff to a point where it was ruining my life. And I guess like 10 years ago I thought well, yeah, you know, I’m gonna change the world. I’m gonna talk about stuff. In 20 years of comedy, I’ve probably had a dozen good points that I reflect on and go, “That was actually a really Fucking good piece, and it really, it had a point that made sense.” But that whole changing the world thing never really kicked in. The revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world, yeah, it’d didn’t quite happen like Egypt or Syria. Yeah. And it’s frustrating, because you do a bit and then you’d go, “Oh, that’s a fucking really good-” and then it just appears, the problem is still there. And someone will say, “Oh, abortion is back in the news.” And you go, “Why? I already solved that on a 2004 release. How can it possibly still exist? I’ve yelled at thousands of drunk people about that. Maybe I’ll rewrite it and repackage it.” It gets frustrating as shit where you’re like, I don’t care. Fuck it. Fuck everyone. It’s as frustrating as if you lived in a world full of starving people where occasionally you could point out food that no one else seemed to notice, for a living. Where you go on stage and you’d go, “Did you ever notice there’s a plate of nachos right over there?” And people would go, “Oh, he’s so right, there is a plate of nachos. I never noticed that.” But instead of eating them, they shove them up their noses and assholes for entertainment value and get no nutrition out of it even though they’re fucking starving to death. And it’s not just the audience or the world, even my own social circle, people who fucking, “Doug, you know, what you said about gay marriage, that was right on the money. Marriage itself is an antiquated institution. It has no place in a progressive society. It has nothing that anyone needs to do. I’m still getting married on Saturday, though, cause Janice doesn’t really get your act. She doesn’t think you’re funny, so we’re getting married. [pouring beer in eye] But it’s a really good point, though. “And what you said, that one thing you said, overpopulation. You’re right, Doug. You’re not really funny anymore, but you’re right. What you said about overpopulation, most of the world’s problems are based on overpopulation. There’s just too many goddamn people. We’re still gonna have the baby, cause Janice’s biological clock is ticking, and plus, we live in a gated community. It’s not really overpopulation if you can afford to send them to a Montessori School, is my take. But it’s right, what you’re doing is a good thing, and you should keep doing it, and don’t die on us. "What you said about drugs, you’re right on the money, Doug. Drugs, I never thought of it like that. It’s a private property issue, all drugs should be legal cause your body is your own private property. You own your own meat. If you own nothing else in the world, you own the fucking meat that’s packing your bones. Yeah, so all drugs, yeah, it doesn’t matter what it is. Drugs, put a fucking needle in your arm, tattoo yourself, pierce yourself, fucking eat cheese sandwiches, throw cheese sandwiches down your top hatch until you’re so fat you have to pay for two seats on Southwest Airlines. That’s your prerogative, cause you own your own meat, do whatever you want to it. Drink yourself silly. You find something living rent free in your uterus? Evict that motherfucker. This is private property. There’s no squatter’s rights, pay rent or quit. "That’s a good point Doug, drugs should be your own prerogative, whatever it is. Huffing a gassy rag, that’s what you wanna do. Except for heroin, cause that’s what killed Hedberg. That’s why we really need the federal government to come in and stop this. And I can’t understand why I’m so fucking thirsty all the time! [pouring beer into nose, ear, and eye] You’re so right. You’re so right. I just don’t listen. I just don’t listen.” So I just don’t give a shit anymore. That’s what I do for a living, I try to write more fistfuck jokes and enjoy myself more. It doesn’t matter. We ain’t winning shit. I got to a point where, like my act was making my entire life miserable where it’s just…and it’s still not good, but it’s, I just hate everything and fuck it. It’s so dumb. Doesn’t anyone see how dumb this is? Like some people go, “Isn’t the world a crazy place?” And they’re fine with that. And I’m like, “This is fucked up. This is really fucked up. We’re like Dark Ages people and I’m not even smart. And that’s the most terrifying part, when you realize I’m not even a bright person, but I’m still probably in the top 3% of the smartest people on this planet and I’m pretty fucking dumb. And you go, "How alone are we?” And then you go, “I don’t give a shit.” At one point, you go, “I’m 44. I’m way closer to dead than I am life of the party. And I don’t have children, so why am I getting so enraged about all this nonsense? I don’t care. I don’t care getting all upset about the fucking planet. I’m gone pretty soon. I left no litter behind. That’s your problem. I’m treating this planet like the fucking rental car that it is and I’m turning it in trashed with a bumper hanging off. Fuck your insurance. Fuck the environment, I didn’t ask to be here. Someone created me. Yes, I know that’s a selfish thing. It’s a selfish thing. But you know what? I’ve cared about other stuff and yeah, me not caring about stuff will affect it as much as me caring about stuff, which is none.

Doug Stanhope

#Doug Stanhope

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seasonofthegeek · 6 years ago

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No Other Choice, Part 1

This story is dedicated to @cheeseeatingtrashmonster and @miraculouspaon to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY month! I feel like we’ve formed a special Nelix club and I’m so glad we all love these two ridiculous characters so much!

This is going to be a longer fic based on a drabble I wrote a year or so ago so this first part is just a freshened up version of that and I should have new content in the second chapter posted later today. :D

Part 1:

“I’m getting it removed. I suppose you have a right to know.”

Before Nino had the chance to look up at the owner of the voice, a stack of books dropped onto the table where he sat, barely missing his brand-new headphones he’d been mysteriously gifted only the day before. He grabbed them quickly and scowled up at the person responsible for their almost demise when his heart leapt into his throat. Felix Agreste glared at him as he stood on the opposite side of the table, his chin lifted defiantly.

“I don’t need a soulmate and I certainly don’t want a soulmate. The only reason I’m telling you is because I need you to sign these.” He dropped a packet of paper across the table, just beyond his books. “I’ve flagged each place you need to sign or initial. It should be simple enough for you to understand. Please don’t make a mistake. It was a headache getting a copy of the form.”

Nino looked at the papers and then back up at Felix. “What the hell are you talking about, Sir Scowls-A-Lot? What are these?”

Felix’s brow furrowed. “You’re my soulmate and I don’t want a soulmate so I need you to relinquish your claim. What do you not understand about that?”

“The part where you’re my soulmate.” Nino grimaced as if the words tasted sour. “There must be some mistake.”

“Alas, I was hopeful at first too. There’s no mistake, except on the cosmic scale. We’ve been registered since birth.”

“You’re almost two years older than me; that’s not how it works.”

“Twisted, isn’t it? Do you own a pen? These aren’t going to sign themselves.”

Nino brought the document closer with a frown. “Can you try to act like a human being for a second and explain this to me?”

Felix sighed heavily and glanced around the university courtyard before pulling the other iron chair away from the table. The legs protested loudly against the cobblestone and pink bloomed on Felix’s cheeks as he slumped down in it sullenly. “You understand that this whole soulmate fascination that our society has created is completely false and inaccurate, right?”

“You should be careful who you say that around.”

“I’m saying it to you,” Felix shot back. “Are you going to turn me in for brainwashing or something?”

“No, but…” Nino shrugged but still glanced around uneasily. “I guess it all seems a little too…neat and tidy.”

“Except it isn’t. We still have adultery and murders of passion and unsanctioned pregnancies. All the stuff they were trying to get rid of by implementing this moronic program decades ago is still here. Probably even worse if I cared enough to go through the statistics.” Felix leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table. “Not only that, but they only call it the soulmate program to make it sound romantic. Parents are the ones who decide what kind of person to pair you with when you’re born and if they don’t decide, the government does.”

“But some soulmates fall in love,” Nino argued. “Most do.”

“Well, if you thought you were stuck with one person for the rest of your life for legal reasons and most likely had no other options, wouldn’t you try to make the best of it?”

“You aren’t.”

“Yes, that’s why I said you and not me,” Felix clarified. “I was able to get the file my father filled out when requesting my soulmate the day I was born. Would you like to know what it said?”

Nino had a feeling he very much did not want to know what it said from the angry, pained look that leaked from Felix’s eyes but he gave a stiff nod.

“A male soulmate so biological reproduction wouldn’t be possible. His first request.”

Nino paled. “Oh, I…I’m sorry. That’s…if you aren’t….you could still try to adopt or–”

“I don’t want to be a father,” he snapped. “But that’s what this all is, isn’t it? I’m apparently gay because my father said I should be. Adrien’s straight because that’s what dear old dad chose for him so he can carry on the Agreste line with his own little brat when the times comes. Nevermind how either of us feels in the matter.”

“I can sign–”

“I’m not finished,” Felix interjected. “He also requested I be paired with someone at least a year younger from a lower income home, preferably a government-chosen male. Would you like to know why?”

“Even if I say no, are you going to tell me anyway?” Nino regretted the question as soon as the words left his lips. Felix’s mouth snapped closed and an invisible wall slid between them.

“If you’ll just sign where I’ve marked.”

“I’m sorry. Please tell me why your father is an even bigger asshole than I already thought he was.”

The hint of a small smile flickered across Felix’s lips and was just as quickly gone. “My mother was my father’s soulmate and he hated her for it. Or maybe she hated him. I’ll never really know. When she had me, he wanted to make sure I was the end of that line. Gabriel grew up poor and inherited my mother’s family’s money with her death. I guess he wanted a fresh start as if the Agrestes have been old money all along.” His voice was quiet as he spoke. “My mother died giving birth to me. It freed my father to move on. He met Emilie and married her immediately when her soulmate mysteriously disappeared. He chose her and he chose to have Adrien. I was just a mistake he hopes will fall off the family tree soon.”

“You aren’t a mistake. No one is a mistake.”

“Nino, I’m well aware of what people think of me. You don’t even like me. I’m not someone who needs his hand held and told he’s special. I know what I am.”

“Adrien loves you.”

“Adrien loves everyone,” he replied flippantly. “But since he is one of the few sincere people in this world, I’ll take it.” He studied Nino for a moment. “Have you never wondered who your soulmate was?”

“I’ve asked before but my parents never wanted to talk about it. I thought maybe they were embarrassed. I know they couldn’t afford one of the big agencies when I was born but most people seem so happy with who they have. I guess I just thought…”

“You thought you’d be happy too,” Felix finished.

“It sounds naïve, I know.”

“That’s because it is.”

“How did you find out about all of this anyway?”

“I turned twenty-one last week and my official records were released to me.”

“Oh. Happy Belated Birthday then.”

“I don’t celebrate my birthday,” Felix muttered. “What would be the point?”

“Why someone younger?”

“What?”

“Why did Gabriel specify someone younger than you?” Nino asked.

Felix frowned. “It’s just a theory but I think so I would be forced into finding a way to support my soulmate until he was old enough to have his files released and then I would be legally stuck.”

“Manipulative.”

“My father’s forte.”

“Does he know it’s me? You know he hates me, right?”

Another flicker of a smile touched Felix’s lips. “The thought of staying with you for that reason alone was tempting but no, I don’t believe he knows. Honestly, I’m not sure he cares.”

“You know I think Gabriel is the worst but that seems cold, even for him.”

Felix sat back in his chair. “I think…I think that perhaps to the rest of the world, my father isn’t so bad a person. He dotes on Emilie and Adrien, though his affection for Adrien has lessened over the years for his own unfathomable reasons.” He looked down at his hands. “But I’m something that reminds him that his perfect life isn’t real. He was forced into a marriage he didn’t want and fathered a child he didn’t want. The marriage is over and his wife buried, but I’m still here. I’m the reminder of where he came from and he hates me for it. I’m not even sure I blame him.”

“Dude, he really needs a therapist.”

A bark of surprised laughter passed Felix’s lips. “Don’t we all.”

Nino looked down at the papers. “What happens to us if we sign this?”

“You’re still young enough to be up for reassignment. Things happen, people die. I’m sure there are people your age, men and women, who are hoping to get a new soulmate before they’re legal. I assume you would be paired off with one of them.”

“And what about you?”

“I suppose I’ll be a social pariah but that’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m not the first person to relinquish my soulmate claim, though they do make it infuriatingly difficult.”

Nino nodded thoughtfully. “I guess I never gave much thought to if my soulmate disliked me enough to legally null our pairing.”

“This isn’t about you, Lahiffe.”

“I mean, it kinda is.”

Felix huffed. “No, it’s about me.”

“Not according to these papers, it isn’t. It’s about both of us.”

“You can’t honestly think this is a good idea. You don’t like me and if you’re thinking about my family money, my father has already given me my trust and sent me on my way. It won’t last long once I pay the fee for breaking this claim and find a place to live.”

“Gabriel kicked you out?”

“For my own well-being, naturally,” Felix replied dryly. “I’m fine.”

“Where are you staying?”

“You’re not signing these today, are you?”

“It’s kind of a lot to dump on me when I was just sitting here before my next class, thinking the weirdest thing to happen this week was getting these from a secret admirer.” Nino picked up the headphones and held them aloft. “They’ve been on my wishlist forever but they’re hella expensive. I already interrogated Adrien and he swears it wasn’t him.”

Felix flushed. “They’re from me. It seemed right to at least gift you something you would enjoy before I did this.”

Nino blinked, looking back down at the headphones. “How did you know I wanted them?”

“Because I pay attention.”

“You have to order them overseas.”

“Yes.”

“But you just got your soulmate file last week. That wouldn’t have been enough time to order them and get them here.” Nino continued to talk as a theory unfolded in his mind. “You already knew I was your soulmate. You were just waiting for the paperwork to be released.”

Felix sat back in his chair stiffly. “You’re smarter than most people give you credit for.”

“I know.”

“It isn’t personal, this decision,” he said quietly. “I’ve been watching you since I found out a couple of years ago by paying off the right clerk. You’re a wonderful person and if I could–”

“If you would,” Nino interjected.

Felix scowled. “You don’t want me either so don’t pretend to be the hurt party here.”

“I didn’t know what I wanted for lunch today, Felix.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Exactly what it means. I didn’t know what I wanted for lunch when I went into the cafeteria but then I saw my options and I’m happy with what I had.”

“So I’m a cafeteria option?”

Nino sat on the edge of his seat, leaning forward slightly. “Where are you staying?”

All the fight seemed to leak out of Felix and he deflated, sagging in the chair. “A hostel five stops away. I’ve been lucky enough to have my own room and moving furniture in front of the door at night has deterred hopeful looters.”

“Do you have anything there?”

“Do I look like a fool? Most of my things are in a storage building. I slept there the first night, but the manager made me leave.”

Nino stood. “Come on then.”

“What?”

“Take me to your storage unit. We’ll get anything you need immediately and move it into my studio.”

“That tiny place above your family’s restaurant?”

“Are you really going to be a picky homeless guy, Felix?” Nino shot back, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “I moved in last year after I got it cleaned out and half of it is still storage and yeah, it’s cramped, but there’s space for you if you want it.”

“Just sign the papers, Nino. Please.”

“No. Give me a year.”

“Why, so I’ll fall in love with you? Surely you aren’t so idiotic.”

“I have a year and a few months until I’m twenty-one, right? Let’s take a year and see if we can figure things out. We both know it’ll be easier if we don’t rock the boat.”

“And if you realize two days in that you can’t stand me?” Felix challenged.

“Then in a year, I’ll sign your papers and still have time to be reassigned.”

“Do you even like men?”

“I don’t think gender has much to do with anything.”

Felix scowled. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re like an angry kitten, lots of hissing but no real danger.”

“This is not a good start,” Felix growled.

Nino held up his hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Now, really, let’s go get your stuff.” For a tense moment, he thought perhaps Felix wouldn’t comply with his request and then the other man was standing and adjusting the strap of his messenger bag.

“Fine. Lead the way.”

Buy me a cherry coke?

#nelix #nino lahiffe #felix agreste #miraculous ladybug #soulmate au

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dramallamadingdang · 6 years ago

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Speaking of religion, I saw in a lot of MTS off-topic discussions that you identified yourself as a Christian and defended it a lot. I think you even said once that you were waiting for your husband to die so you can remarry? IDK. What made you switch to our side?

Ooooooh, deconversion testimony. Let’s do this thing, man!

Yes, I was a quite fundamentalist Christian, in certain respects, for a long time. I was part of a non-denominational church that had strong Pentecostal leanings. The theology was very much of the “hellfire and brimstone” variety, and to this day I can still speak in tongues with the best of them. *laugh* Thankfully, I had not been indoctrinated into any religion as a child, but rather did the “Save me, Jesus!” prayer at the age of 15, after attending my friend’s Assembly of God church for a while off and on, mostly when I’d stay over at her place on Saturday nights. Initially, my conversion was mostly an act of rebellion against my nominally-Catholic but spiritually lackadaisical mother. (By that I mean that she’s probably always been atheist but she never wanted to use the “A” word to describe herself because of its negative connotations, particularly amongst her very Catholic family.) But, even though I didn’t really take it seriously at first, Fundie Christianity got its hooks into me pretty good.

That being said, I always had some beliefs that did not toe the party line, as it were, precisely because I had not suffered childhood indoctrination. The primary things that I had to keep more on the down-low were that I could never be anti-gay, nor could I ever accept creationism as true. (I saw the latter as utterly idiotic even when I was at my Christian-est, although for a while I was convinced of intelligent design.) However, I was very convinced of God’s existence, and I swallowed the hell thing whole, and I believed that the Bible, aside from its creation fairy tale, was all true but that it needed to be read in historical context in order to understand what it “really meant.” That last bit was how I got around thorny things like, for instance, the Bible’s denouncement of homosexuality in both of its Testaments as well as its balls-out endorsement of slavery in both Testaments. But, I did love me some Jesus, yes. I was one of those who focused more on on the happy-lovey verses in the New Testament while deliberately not addressing the far more numerous horrifying bits in both Testaments. I coasted along in my faith just fine. I was even good at winning converts for the church because, having been raised by lawyers who wanted me to be a lawyer, too, I was indoctrinated into bull-headed logic and rhetoric and argument as a child. :)

Problems began, though, when I married my first husband. We married in 1992, so I’d been Christian ~15 years by that time. About a year after we married, he began to buy into the Duggar-esque “the man is the head of the household and the woman must be submissive” bullshit. Thankfully, he didn’t want to have two dozen kids, at least. It was bad enough, from my point of view, that he wanted a wife who did what she was told and waited on him hand and foot, with bonus sex toy functions on demand, all in the name of the Lord. I, as a dominant female raised by very strong 60s-era feminists – as in, both my mother and father – had…hmmm, difficulty with the whole submission thing, though I did try really, really hard, much to the detriment of my mental well-being.

Secretly, though? Well, secretly, I deliberately took off my “God glasses” and began to do some extremely intense (and, notably, objective) Bible study that incorporated non-religious academic study materials along with the standard apologetic stuff. I spent hours at the library (since the interwebs were in their infancy at the time *laugh*) researching and studying because I refused to accept the notion that the God whom I loved and who I knew I loved me really just wanted me to be chattel, not much different from the livestock that people also weren’t supposed to covet. I was confident that this could not really be the case, and the lawyers’ kid in me wanted to be able to present a solid, well-argued, airtight case to my husband (and to the church as a whole) that would make him see that he was wrong about what God wanted, and then everything would be just fine.

Of course, my husband wasn’t wrong, as it turned out, and thus began my disillusion. I started studying other topics that nagged at my conscience in the same way and…Well, as they say, the easiest way to become an atheist is to be a Christian and objectively read the Bible. (There’s a reason that laypeople reading the Bible is discouraged, if not outright disallowed, in the Catholic church.) So, from the early 90s on, I began a long, slow slide down the slippery slope to apostasy. I didn’t recognize that that was what it was, of course. I thought I was discovering the “real Christianity” that all the people in the church pews, with dogma up to their eyeballs, were missing. Turns out, what I was really discovering was…Well, not to put too fine a point on it or anything, that the Bible is BS and so is Christianity in general. And, after expanding my self-education to include other theistic religions, thinking that maybe one of them was right, that, alas, there is not a single sliver of evidence for any god. I could no longer in good conscience believe in any god, not unless/until I had evidence of he/she/it/them. Which, to date, I do not have. (And frankly, if one day I do have evidence of Yahweh’s existence, at least, and if he is what he says he is in the Bible, then I will no longer be an atheist, but I will deem Yahweh unworthy of worship. I’ll be spitting “How dare you?!” at him, all Stephen Fry-esque. I would rather burn in hell than eternally worship such an abhorrent creature.)

Anyway, by the time I was participating in threads on MTS about religion, my husband and I had divorced, and I was probably ¾ of the way down the apostasy slope. At that point, I was still calling myself a Christian but a heretical one, and until about a year ago or so I called myself a Deist because while I could no longer in good conscience call myself a Christian, even a heretical one, there were things that I clung to that I did not want to let go of. Mostly because of “personal experiences” that made me want to think there was a God of some kind. But about a year ago or so, I finally let it all go, to make a long story short, and it was an enormous weight off my shoulders. I’m now comfortable with being publicly truthful about what I am, no longer fearing the “A” word.

That being said, although I have great antipathy for Yahweh himself, I don’t hate Christians or people of any religion. Nor will I “preach atheism.” At least, not here. ;) So, if you’re a Christian or other theist, fear not. I will probably be no more or less of a godless heathen on this particular blog than I have been before. I am, however, considering making an atheist-themed personal sideblog or something, which I would use to occasionally wax anti-apologetic and whatnot. In general, I think it’s important for American atheists, especially, to be “out” if they can be, because America is highly religious, particularly in certain areas, and people who are not with that program need community, especially if they’ve been ostracized by friends/family over their lack of belief. Not to mention the creeping fingers of Christian dominionism in our current government, with things like “religious freedom” bills and the Congressional “Freedom Caucus” and Project Blitz and such, all of which needs to be fought tooth and nail. But…I don’t know that I have the energy for another blog. We’ll see, I guess.

Oh! One last thing. Yes, I did indeed keep my marriage vows post-divorce. Christianity aside, I take serious vows…well, seriously. :) So, although we divorced, I did not sleep with anyone else until my first husband died. I almost didn’t even date anyone else, though current husband and I started dating about 4 months before my first husband died of pancreatic cancer, which at least was after I knew he was terminal and in hospice care. So, yeah, I was celibate for ~17 years. Call me weird, if you wish, but…Well, I take vows seriously. It’s just how I am.

#replies #Anonymous #non sims

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #266

“... and buried deep beneath the waves, betrayed by family, to his nation with his last breath cried: beware the daughter of the sea.”

What's the last thing you looked up in the dictionary? Shit, it's right on the tip of my tongue... I was making sure I was using it right, which I was. Do you ever listen to instrumental music? Rarely, and if I do, it's normally game soundtracks. Who did you last sit on? I'm hoping you mean like... on their lap lmao in which case it'd probably be Jason. No one wants my fat ass to sit on their lap nowadays. What do you think about wind? I HATE wind, unless it's hot and there's a nice breeze. Has there been anyone that you wanted to get to know but never did? Well of course. That happened in high school a lot. What's the last thing you looked at that reminded you of someone? Teddy's picture on my shelf. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Not that I know of. I couldn't even begin to imagine either of those trying that. Do you have a gag reflex? A VERY STRONG ONE. Would you rather have sex before you're married or wait till marriage? I don't care. Tbh by now, I kinda think before is wiser only to ensure you two are compatible in that area. It wouldn't matter to me personally, but I know that's important to some people and can cause issues and built-up bitterness. Just use protection, Christ. Have you ever let someone hit you? Um no? Do you have friends in other states/countries? Plenty. Been on the Internet since before I was even a pre-teen, talking to strangers lmao. Do you ever pay attention during church? I would try to back then, but I never succeeded well because my mind would wander out of boredom. Do you have self-control? That very much depends on the situation. I can be EXTREMELY impulsive, but in other cases hold it together. Have you ever broken a window? No. When was the last time you freaked someone out? I'm sure it was a few nights ago when I had another nightmare and woke up screaming. Mom always yells my name to snap me out of it. Have you ever gone on a date with a weirdo? No. Who's the last person you called a bitch? I don’t know. Is anyone in your family disabled? Yes. What do you want for Christmas? It's hella early to think about it, but I'm quite certain I'll be asking for a treadmill. How many moles do you have? I don't think I have any? Aren't freckles and moles different? Do you own any comic books? No. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I don't know. I never did really nasty ones because I wasn't stupid. Do you know anyone who has been raped? Almost, anyway. Idk if I know anyone to really has been... I hope not. Are you an atheist? No. I think there's... something. Have you ever owned a goldfish? Well yeah, from like, carnival games and stuff. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? I dunno, probably a family member when I changed my FB profile picture. How many times have you been stung by a bee? Once. Those fuckin hornets better stay the holy fuck away from me. What was the last flavor of gum you chewed? Probably something fruity. When was the last time you used tape? Ummm probably when I had to tape the side of my laptop screen a bit. When was the last time you said fuck? A couple questions ago in this survey lmao. Have you ever stolen something? Only this pink crayon I thought was beautiful at Sunday school oof. Who would you like to kiss right now? Maaaan there's three people I would so long I wasn't involved with anyone else. Mark of course lol, Jason, or Sara. Who was the last person you told to 'Shut the fuck up' to? Ha ha, probably playfully to Sara. Why were you last nervous? So I joined this group on deviantART called the Guiding Light Project, which is about mental health help and positivity, and there is a list of people seeking help and what their problem is. I decided to reach out to two people I really thought I could help, and one was a guy. Men make me so nervous that I was very nervous sending him a message, but it's going very well. Whose pants did you last take off? Uhhhh. OH YEAH HEY when I was hanging out with Colleen and she got me to change her son's diaper. Hate hate hate hated it. I do not ever need kids. When was the last time you were disturbed? Hm. I'm sure over something I saw on Facebook. NO, WAIT. Sara, do not read this. When I was at Ashley's, we were watching Naked and Afraid, and they caught a chameleon to cook for food. I almost screamed. Poor thing looked terrified when the guy grabbed him. Why did you last feel awkward? Also when messaging that guy. When was the last time you got in a fight with your best friend? It's been a long time. Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Only a friend. Who was the last person you read a book to? My niece had me read a book like fifty times. Who is the person you say the naughtiest things to? Ha ha, Sara when we're having our stupid fangirl moments. Who was the last person to send you a letter? Sara. It's still on my shelf. :') How do you feel about war? I’m a pacifist, so guess. Do you like cupcakes or muffins more? Hm, maybe cupcakes. Have you ever pushed someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? Nothing major. At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? In the morning, once I've passed the drowsy phase. Magenta, aqua, or coral? Coral. Do you like the color orchid? Ye! Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? Uhhh I literally want to be both? I'm *realistically* more interested in shooting weddings for the income, but if I had my way, I'd be perfectly financially content being a nature photographer. Man, I hope that happens. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Are you interested in health and wellness? "Rather than interests, I consider them two very important things I should always try to pay attention to. Health is very important." <<<< This. Would you ever be a fitness coach? HA no. Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? That's a very good question. This can definitely lead to you questioning flawed morals, so in that sense, it sure can be. In other ways though, it can certainly be a bad thing. Do you think for yourself? Yes. I am, generally, very opinionated and follow my gut instinct. Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? The former, usually. I can be AWFUL at making decisions though, so I definitely consider advice. What color is your bike? I don't have a bike. Are you due for a hike? There is physically no way I could handle a hike in my current shape. Muscle atrophy in the legs is not fuckin' fun, and with hyperhidrosis and THIS heat? Oh, hunny. Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? As a kid, I fainty remember having one? How often do you eat dessert? Very rarely. I don't need it. What's the trendiest item you own? Oh boy, I don't have a clue. I don't even know what's "trendy." Did you pull an all-nighter last night? No. When was the last time you wrote an essay? My first semester of this year. Do you enjoy writing essays? I actually do if it's a subject I'm passionate about. Do you enjoy learning? Yeah! What is your favorite fairytale? Fuckin fight me if you say Shrek isn't one. What is your favorite name that starts with a "Z"? I have no idea. Maybe Zena, though I prefer it with an "x." Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? Yes. I have before. Do you own a princess crown? No. When was the last time you were jealous of someone? Ugh... with how bad my PTSD has been lately, I've been having periodic episodes of raging hate and jealousy of the girl he dated after me, thinking things like, "what if he loved her more," "what if he also told her this or that," etc. They're not even together anymore, but my brain doesn't care. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Maybe? What was the last thing you killed? I think an earwig-ish thing. Whose number did you last get? The girl's who adopted Bentley. When was the last time you used a public bathroom? Probably not since an appointment with my psychiatrist some time ago. Have you ever used someone for money? Wow, no. Do you have manners? I honestly think I have great manners. Have you ever woken up and realized that yesterday really happened? That was ABSOLUTELY the day after the breakup. It didn't at all feel real when it was even happening. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Last November is when we had to put Teddy to sleep. God, I miss that baby boy. Or did Mitsu die later? I don't recall for sure. Do you know anyone who retired at a young age? I mean, probably. I'm just unaware. When was the last time you took a taxi/Uber? Where were you going? Never, actually. We don't really have those here. Have you ever been diagnosed (by a professional) with OCD? Yes. Do you know any married gay couples? Distantly. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? SARA! I feel like kids having a sleepover when I've been with her. Is there anything you should tell someone, but don’t want to? Yes. Have you ever woken up somewhere and not known how you got there? I don't believe so. Do you live somewhere where recreational marijuana is legal? No. Have you ever quit a job with no notice? No. Do you have nightmares often? HA, it's just about a nightly basis now. Have you ever been on any sort of government assistance? I've gotten loans for school and stuff. Does that count? Did you have your own bedroom when you were growing up? No, I shared it with my little sister. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic. Are you comfortable with your weight? Fuck no. How often do you listen to classic rock? Semi-frequently. Not as much as I did in high school. What about country? Just about never ever. Do you know anyone inside and out? I don't think that's possible. Is anyone in your family sick? Both Mom and Grammy are fighting cancer right now. I don't think my grandma has much time left. She can't walk on her own anymore. What kind of camera do you have? A Canon EOS Rebel T6. What is something you know you shouldn’t do, but do anyways? Download music. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Idk. Is photography one of your interests? Of course, I aim to make a career out of it. Do you know your neighbors very well? I personally don't. The person to the right of us, though, my mom knows decently and is a total and complete sweetheart. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? "Kind of (I hurt myself for my own purposes, but I did want attention paid to it), when I was a teenager, because I desperately needed someone to treat me with compassion and, like, take the shit that was happening to me seriously." <<<< I don't like admitting this, but it's happened. I want to emphasize that it was not the primary reason and was rather impulsive anger and self-hate, BUT for the mentioned reasons, I did want this shit taken seriously and realize I really needed help. Has anyone ever called you conceited? No. Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Certainly. Not like I used to, though. Who were you last really mad at? REALLY mad? I'm not sure, but probably Mom. What is a sad song that you like? "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has been in my head lately. What is a rumor people tell about you? I don't know of any. The only rumor that I know has ever been spread about me was that Jason and I had a baby in high school. Despite the fact I was slim then lmao. If you were given 1,000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would you do with it? Definitely plant a forest around a house I'd like to model myself, dig a nice pond for more wildlife... a lot of stuff that would benefit nature. If you had to flee their home country, where would you live? Canada. Do you think psychic abilities exist? Which one would you like to have? No. I'd like to uhhhh... predict the future when I will it myself, I guess. What’s a skill or craft that you would like to master, but haven’t? I wish I could draw exactly what I see in my head. How did you find out Santa isn’t real? My mom just told me. What’s a personality trait that you wish you had? CONFIDENCE!!!!!!! Do you believe in getting revenge on those who do wrong by you? If so, how do you go about it? Noooo no no. That creates so many more problems. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family think you’d had done? That's a great question. If you could shop for free at one store, what would it be? For the sake of being smart, Wal-Mart. Necessities are there. Do you have any pets? If so, what are they? I have a Siamese-esque cat and a champagne ball python. I'm currently DESPERATELY trying to talk Mom into a Mexican red knee tarantula... and I really want a hognose snake. What event in your life would make a good movie? The breakup and my recovery. If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what would it be? Discrimination. Where do you find meaning in your life? Quite honestly, I don't feel it has much meaning currently. I'm not doing shit worthwhile. Do you believe things happen for a reason? Hell no. What do you think is a conspiracy? Honestly, I believe in quite a few. The one I believe in most was that the government was 120% involved in 911. Research. It is unbelievable. I'm very dubious that the "first" moon landing was real, either. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence it was on a soundstage. Why? America wanted to beat Russia in the space race. I love conspiracies. Do you believe in the afterlife? How do you picture it? Yes. I don't quite know how I picture it, but I lean towards like... this nirvanic state of peace and knowledge, and unity between the dead. What’s a superstition you believe in? I don’t believe in any superstitions. None. What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured? YOOOOOO when I was at Colleen's in-law's having dinner once, I literally took a large bite of rice RIGHT WHEN IT CAME OFF THE STOVE. I didn't know it'd only just been removed. My tongue was burned for weeks on end. Do you mind conflict? Hell yes I mind. I'm terrified of confrontation. If you could start a charity what would it be for? Something with mental health. Maybe to help those who can't afford help/therapy. If you were a cryptid (bigfoot, mothman, ect.) what would you be? I'm already a cryptid. What’s your ideal temperature and weather? Hm... like 55 and partly cloudy. What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on with no preparation? Gay rights. Have you ever worn those drunk goggles? Yes, for D.A.R.E. in elementary school. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? It depends on the subject of course, but I'm normally very good at agreeing to disagree. Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? Animal fucking cruelty. Dumbasses getting gored are well-deserved. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Lita Ford is a badass. Slays on the guitar and is just cool. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? I actually like the classic, deep red. Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? I don't think so. Why do so many fans with OTP’s insist that their ship is real? I don't really know, but it's annoying. Some people are just friends, y'know. Being similar/compatible does not equate to actually liking each other like that, and the feral ones are just... wow. Do you draw fanart of anything? Not anymore. There's soooo many pictures I'd love to draw of Mark, but I literally love him so much I don't want to disgrace his face with my poor ability to make shit proportional lmao. Favorite thing to see in museums? Fossils! Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? No. What things have people shamed you for? My AvPD doesn't want me to think about this. Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? Probably at some point. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? No. Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No.

#survey #surveys #questions

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yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 5 years ago

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Well then.

I recently discovered this "Gem" of an article and oh boy. This is next level insane conspiracy. *The article in question*

https://reclaimthenet.org/no-pixels-for-fascists/

Now the article is not promoting the context in it so much as covering it as a horror story. And at first I believe it to be satire...... But sadly it is not. First if all. Censorship is BAD. Many people will always argue with this because, "hate speech" or, "violent speech" but fact it, the people arguing for censorship so it because they believe that nothing they can or will ever say will be censored. Fun fact mind you. The term, "useful idiot" plays a big part here. See, people in powerful places don't ACTUALLY care about you or your views. They care about power. Consider for a moment why EA is backing this campaign. EA is a game publishing company that has been in hot water MANY times over the past several years. Up to and including incidents like putting out a game that was supposed to have some level of historical accuracy, but with "their version of history". Then there was the loot boxes controversy that literally started a legal war against predatory loot boxes in games, of which EA is literally the worst offender.

Now with all of this in mind realize something VERY specific. Many people that were "right wing" were very much not happy about the "our version of history" crap because it was not how the franchise had been treated prior. ""Left wing" people were mostly against the whole predatory loot boxes thing. Grant you yes, there was a lot of cross over, but fundamentally these were split issues. Now consider for a moment what some people consider to be fascist in modern culture. It's pretty broad. And it has been escaping it's proper meaning by a long shot. But with all of this said, something people neglect to realize is that totalitarianism, authoritarianism, and fascism are all basically the same. And all involve one fundamental truth. Absolute Control.........by ANY means necessary. Censorship is authoritarian by nature. Because when you can't speak, you can't spread ideas. Imagine for a moment Progressives, you finally get free speech removed. FINALLY these "right wing Nazis" can't spread their hate messages any more out of fear of fines, jail, or imprisonment. What doth the governing bodies do next? Maybe they ban protests. Maybe they don't ACTUALLY like gay people and ban pride parades or maybe remove gay marriage. And you think to yourself, "THEY CAN'T DO THAT! THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED T-". Yes they are. You literally handed them the keys and papers to the car....... And handed over your spares while you were at it. Meaning it's theirs now. They don't have to answer to you any more.

And that's the point. You THINK you can just take away people's ability to speak because you don't agree with them, but who's speech do you think they come for next? The people who helped put them in power. The people that handed them the keys. WHY?! You might ask? Because at that point, YOU are the biggest threat to them. You are the loud, violent, useful idiots that wished for absolute control over speech to adhere to your ,"moral compass". News flash. That power? Is all encompassing. And does not just go away when someone you won't like takes power. What's more, you actually TRUST many of the people in power at face value as if they actually care about you. They don't! You, to them, are only a means to an end. And think about it really. The biggest road blocks to freedom right now are mostly all people that label themselves, either left wing, or progressives. Any idea why you can't see your own folly? Because you have too much trust in people that have no real moral compass. Consider for a moment what you've been advocating for (not all of you).

Disarming the general public (2A)

Banning certain types of speech (1A)

Give full control of healthcare to the government (which they can then deny you of)

Give full control of production rights (to the people) by proxy also the government

You are literally advocating for the government to have absolute authority over everything. And it's funny too. They've got you believing that, "The rightous path to end *fascism*, patriarchy, racism, and bigotry,-" is to give them the power to make all of that much MUCH worse. What happens when a progressive get into office that is SO progressive, they legalize pedophilia? Maybe beastiality? Guess who speech gets removed next? Everyone against those ideas since one, you no longer HAVE the first amendment to protect you, nor a second to defend yourself. Then after that person, an extremist right wing LITERAL Nazi gets put in power? Guess what? Racism and bigotry are in full swing now. Welcome back to the 1800's. And guess what you can do about it? Absolutely nothing. And you know who's to thank for that? You are.

The above article also goes on to mention this, which...... Is basically insane-

Fact is, contrary to MOST news sources. GG was not a hate movement. The FBI confirmed as much. And calling "Trump and his associates" gamers? They can't even operate FB half the time. Their only experience with gaming is probably Pac Man. Also the article goes on to say "right wing people" are the problem. No they are not. Because of the text I wrote prior to this. Because they SEE the trap and they are the only ones fighting to keep us free. Them and a hand full of centrists and not insane leftists. Also, it bares noting that "right wing" and "left wing" are not the same in the US as they are in other places, but a lot of people don't fully grasp that. People still have this view of "the right" as hillbilly racists, who shoot people because they can, and wish death upon "the gays". But that's a far cry from the bulk of the right in modern days. Because consider for a moment if the left wing was identified by their extreme? Full government control, make people be gay by force, legalize all age dating/sexual acts, let everyone love everyone *most specifically animals*, and killing/imprisoning all "non progressives". That's your fringes.

The reason so many people literally can't open their eyes is because they honestly can't think for themselves. They listen to "news" media to get all their info, even though that info is often doctored to be as woke and untrue as possible. Do you know why? Because activist types of the progressive fringes are the loudest and most entitled of us all. Salon, Kotaku, IGN, Vice, BuzzFeed, Feminist Frequency, Washington Post, The New York Times, The Guardian, CNN etc. They ALL get their news stories from one another. And they are all activists who want to push a narrative. They have no reason to be honest. The more angry you get reading their stuff, the more you will come back to read their stuff. Basically a loop of hate. Because without it, they'd go out of business. They NEED you to click on, share, and parrot their stories. I mean consider this for a sec. When GG got big, who was it that would have taken the hardest hit from the information found out? Games journalists. Do you know why mainstream news outlets came to their rescue? To paint gamers as all being racist, sexist, bigots? Because if it had come out and gotten attention beyond the gaming sphere that games media was being dishonest and unethical in its practices, how long do you think it would have been until we started to consider the same about mainstream journalism. They KNEW this was bad for them. But they also knew they had dedicated fan bases that would spread their propaganda for them. And they used that. They used that to pin down a few bad actors (the fringe people latching into the coat tails of the movement) to paint the entire movement as hateful. And not only did they succeed in spreading those lies. Now any time they need to make people angry again, or they need something to hide behind, the bring up GG *GamerGate*. Because the article writes itself. And they know by talking about it, they can deflect all forms of criticism. Journalist has sexual assault allegations against them? It's just GG trying to hurt progressives. Black Face? Just a GG lie! They threatened me/my family. It's the perfect shield. So much so, even Hollywood had taken on the mantra. But they took it up a notch to just say, "my movie did bad because sexist man babies". And they all do it. They don't actually CARE about sexism or whatever, but they KNOW, even the mention of "those types" is basically a battle cry to misinformed people that only wish to form a hate mob and enact "justice" on these "bigots". Open your eyes. You're a tool for the rich and powerful and you can't even see it.

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schizo-spoon-blog · 6 years ago

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Spoonbender Society: Selected Schizoepistles

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

We Live In A Society

People say we live in a democracy/democratic republic, a form of government intended to amplify what people think and address problems they find to be important. But it doesn’t ever seem to function that way.

The issue is in voter suppression, but as always not in the way people generally think voter suppression works. The issue is psychic, spiritual, and social suppression of citizens. Systemic over-development of senses of rationalization, neuroticism and anxiety, industrially incentivized narcissism.

People develop a deathly fear of what others think, or may think, or what they may have thought about them or what they think, what they may think, or what they may have thought.

A democracy where we’d rather not hear what other people have to say, because we find their thoughts offensive and retarded. That’s one thing people are happy to share. But because we suspect that there are so many offensive retards in the world, we fear... "Perhaps I’m a retard too?" You wonder that even for just a second in your life, if you have a soul. It’s OK to be a retard really, but you’ll never believe that it’s OK, and that's probably What Your Fucking Problem Is.

The opinions of us purported non-retards, to avoid sounding like complete retards, end up soft, ambivalent and stale, phrased like True Neutral Orgasm in Ego-Death Nirvana, but less Chad, less gratifying, and nobody cums. To not be reminded of the possibility of our own retardation, we like to pretend that if the retards just shut up and nobody can hear them, they go away. If they are Physically Removed from our presence, their evil thoughts and their malicious intentions will go away with them. We win. But they don’t. They never do.

We always fail to Psychically Remove them. We lose.

We can hypothesize a law of conservation of hatred, correlate one too of love, but the truth is banal. How can it be in light of our timeline? Why are these Hate Groups all over the place? Hitler’s corpse is rotting or burned to a crisp, or embalmed in a tomb or made a toilet for Some Rich Dude ((parenthetical removed)). (Or was he cloned?)

Great Fatherland Germany - defeated by the "untermensch" and partitioned like a cheese between rats. That Great "Faustian" and "Supreme" "Aryan" Race is subjugated by the hated "Juden" and all the "vermin" of the world, humiliated, castrated to be reunited a shadow of its former self. Yet the Nazi threat is omnipresent nearly a century later, in an era which may be an alien planet to those who lived in Hitler’s time.

How is it that the Great Allies, our fathers and grandfathers, achieved such total victory over so loathsome a foe, so unsympathetic and vile, only to see his Evil infect their own countrymen and posterity? How can something so thoroughly defeated still persist in what could be our neighbors or our co-workers our bosses or our employees? Each one could be a secret Nazi now. In parenting blogs moms worry that their children are becoming Nazis from goofy men they see in videos on line. Marriages are ending in divorce because the husband or wife is allegedly or apparently a Nazi. How could this happen?

Have you ever seen “The Matrix? Who hasn’t? You know all about the red and blue pills, and all the rainbow-flag DLC that it comes with, black and pink and green and brown and in configurations invisible to the human eye, I’m sure. If you don't know, the pills are portals to different realities. Take the black pill and you only see death, take the white pill and everything’s alright, take the blue pill you vote for Hillary, take the pink you become genderqueer. But this is not about taking any pills. This is about going off your meds. Going straight edge - except for whiskey, cigarettes, cocaine and pussy. It’s about the spoon - no, not for shooting up. It's for bending - with your mind. Remember? That spoon - The Spoon That Isn’t There.

That spoon is a Nazi.

If you are aware that there is no spoon you can tie it into knots. You can make it into a balloon animal. That Nazi Spoon could be a Jewish Socialist from Vermont, or a kosher Brooklyn Zionist, or a Dominican Taxi Driver. It could be an evil copy of your own son from Bizzaro World. It's probably your uncle. It could be Rottweilers, and Chihuahuas. Whether Pitbulls are Nazis or Jews/Blacks is an ongoing debate in the contemporary discourse.

But imaginary shit can be whatever the hell you want. You don’t have to be "The One" to Bend the Spoon. You don’t have to be anyone at all. What was the name of the kid who said the line about the spoon again? Nobody knows, nobody cares, and that's the beauty of Spoonbending.

"The Nazi" is the guy who keeps talking when he should shut up. He might be autistic, but he could just be an asshole. There is a strong possibility he could be both. Why does he keep saying all of this ridiculous stuff? He’s more offensive and more retarded than the usual, but it feels like He Has To Be This Way. Like it’s his curse, He Knows Too Much. He fell down some rabbit hole and ended up gorged on Fascist Propaganda. He mentions some girl named Celine. He rambles on about some guy you’re pretty sure is a Tekken character... the guy who turns into the Devil maybe. He mentions a vacation in Turkey with his family but insists on saying Constantinople and there’s a wild-man tear in his eye. He insists he knows about Atlantis and calls you gay for saying you liked Aquaman. Instead of saying goodbye he says “Subscribe to Pewdiepie.” The Nazi belongs in an institution. You wonder if he has guns and if maybe he should have them taken for a while. He probably doesn’t, but you can’t be sure. He’s 12.

When is it too early to become a school shooter? Is 12 too early to be an incel?

12 is probably the age at which incels hatch from their human hosts.

“Who is Pewdiepie, and how has he groomed my nephew into the Hitler Youth?” many families today are asking. They think they’re looking at a spoon. Conditoning fills your heart with a desperate desire to see the spoon. A fact, pure fact, logical, reasonable, peer reviewed, widely accepted, So True, a Textbook Fact. The spoon. Everyone else sees it too. That goddamn Nazi Spoon.

You ever try to ask this at a party as an ice-breaker and see how the guests react?

“So, anyway, was The Holocaust Real?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“What do you think, was it real, how many people do you think died, don’t the gas chambers sound goofy to you?”

”Um… no… they don’t sound goofy. What are you talking about?”

“You ever hear about the Nazi Roller-coaster they had at one of the camps? They’d put Jews into a roller-coaster except they’d fly off the edge and get splattered. That’s how the Nazis killed ‘em. I swear. I read it in a book by a Holocaust Survivor. Impossible to believe if it weren’t so True. No shit. You hear about that?”

”I’m… gonna get another beer.”

Of course there’s a Correct answer to that initial question. It’s also the Right answer. Who would ever get this wrong? It's the 2+2=X of History. Well…

Pop-Quiz, Random Nazi Check, Anybody here Hate Jews? You a Groyper, Son? What’s so funny? You think the Cookie Monster committing genocide is a laughing matter boy? We don’t take kindly to your kind around here.

Maybe you should give the Nazi-check thing a try, it’ll separate sheep and goat real easy for you.

If you do this everyone will think you are The Nazi.

The Nazis hated Jews, but did they hate real Jews as Jews exist, or did they hate the Fascist Propaganda Jew who was a work of fiction? On that note, were you in love with your last failed relationship, or just pretending you were? Have you ever had one impression of a person, but then learned they were another kind of person entirely? That first impression you had, the one that wasn’t True, was that a Real Person, or Imaginary? But you still spent all that money and sweat on an imaginary girl, huh?

Hope her hole was real.

I think that fake bitch of an ex you dated was a nazi. Your ex was a fascist. Oh, was she Jewish? It doesn’t matter, changes nothing. I’ve never met her - wouldn't matter if I did. When I imagine her, she's in Hugo Boss black and got skull-and-bones on her officer's cap, and she's saying racial slurs as she ruins your life, cheats on you, drains your bank account and kills your dog after getting custody over it in court. I imagine all bad people this way. All women who rejected me were exactly like this.

But I must breach working-class anti-fascist solidarity, and admit, on That Question ("Would you?").... Yeah, I would. Sorry bro. Take me away Comrades, I admit it, I'd give it to that Nazi Jew raw. Would I do that to her as she exists, or the Fascist Propaganda her who is a work of fiction?

That depends. You still got her number?

haha it's ok you can call me an incel, it's a step up from what i actually am

(User was banned for this post.)

The Nazi and the Fascist aren’t my hallucinations. That’s not my mental illness. But it’s adjacent to me, it’s thrown at me without my Consent, and it's a Trigger. I'm paranoid about commies myself.

In the multicultural cyberpunk year of 2019, with its trans-human gender-sex-orientations, anti-racist ethno-narcissism, fanatic anti-normalism, cultish critical theory intersections, grand byzantine minimalism, placidity, in such splendid predatory banality… In the absolute state of the world! – Aah! An undead ideology conceived by a salty Frenchman in the badlands of South Dakota in the 1890s shambles forth the devour all that is Good and Holy in the Great United States of AmeriKKKa, God Help Us All! And A Child Will Lead Those Dreadful Legions of Corruption Upon All The Meek Of Our Fallen World!

Or it’s just a spoon that isn’t real.

Nobody wants to be straight-forward, and I gotta navigate the labyrinths of euphemism. Maybe there's something weird going on - how people talk, how people act, how people think, none of those correlate to each other. It makes you feel schizo when you do all your mental rain-man calculus and realize there's a fucking Elephant in the living room and he's not wearing any goddamn pants. Once that little ray-of-sunshine blesses your tiny bug-man brain to enlighten you that the elephant is real, and the spoon isn't, it's only a matter of time before you're crowned in tinfoil a Potato King on your off-grid Bug-out estate in the Idaho Panhandle, or start drinking yourself to death and bullying mailmen (or both).

If you'd like to avoid that sort of Elephant-Mania Spoon-denialism, maybe you should try answering Uncomfortable Question instead of being so Weird about it, oh wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you’re freaking out the hoes.

Try Praeger U talking points out on a Tinder date and watch her shrivel up from instathot to instahag -- she will go through menopause before your very eyes, that's how dry her pussy will get. Trying not to sound racist while talking about the Antarctic Nazi base and the importance of craniometry in ethnocultural anthropology will get you more action than anything that sounds like a paraphrase of Charlie Kirk -- because even if you're still being cringe at least you aren't being fake. Point and laugh at that fucking elephant - the moron isn't even wearing pants! That'll get her thinking about taking your pants off. Or not - it's not foolproof. If she doesn't laugh, red-flag, she's a Nazi so Begone Thot!

Please, for the love of God, go off-script! See the damn elephant and forget the spoon, and forget the wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you'll go insane if you don't.

[. . . ] [T]hen there's that neuroticism, that narcissism, that fear. The whole point of these politics groups and gatherings and Q&As is what, anyway? Is it really just basic marketing tactics, like a live-action advertisement you expect for people to passively consume as though it is persuasive? To shove free-markets and free-speeches down my throat and have me swallow it without having anything that’s been bothering me answered? What do I look like to you, an Ideology Whore? You don't even reciprocate a good time, huh? I'm not that kind of girl. You didn't even buy me dinner. You made me pay to bore me. I'd cuck you if we dated just to make a very important point -- fully aware it'll go over your head. Fuck you.

We gotta hear The Script. We gotta recite The Script.

Real Conservatives Think Like This. Real Progressives Think Like This. White People Walk Like This. Black People Walk Like This.

Gotta hear that joke ten thousand times so you can recite it like a mantra in your sleep.

Free markets mean free people. Facts don’t care about your feelings. Private Companies can do what they wish. What you do in your bedroom is your own business. We want legal immigration, not illegal.

Abolish ICE. Your childhood hero says Trans-Rights. Do you not want me in the movement? Abolish whiteness.

The Racism of Lowered Expectations.

Reparations.

A white nation.

Workers of the world unite!

Abortion is a human right.

Have you got it memorized?

Let’s go over it a few more times.

Say it with me! Hillary was found innocent in a hundred hearings and it is sexist to besmirch her reputation.

Repeat after me! Trump’s economy is the best in history, and if he's racist why is black unemployment is at historical lows.

You benefit from unearned privilege. You suffer from toxic masculinity.

The world is about to end and everything you know and love will die, and it is your fault, for not believing in the correct things at the correct time.

Are you laughing yet?

I’m dying. I feel like an e-girl, and my orbiters are sides.

But do you wanna know what I really think? The whole bit about psychic and social suppression? You ever hear about the Procrustean bed? Well, what if we put your political, social, moral consciousness and your psychic abilitys into a bed like that. We could talk about it. You ever play Xenogears?

Or you could just put me in a box. I really wouldn't mind. I'm Houdini. Hey, was Houdini a Nazi, like Henry Ford? Can we get a fact-check? I didn't mean to be problematic.

Break the Conditoning - Step outside the box, and use it as a step ladder. Ascend, Beyond the Box - use The Spoon.

Bush did 9/11, the Israeli’s danced, the Aliens killed JFK - sure - but I only say this because of my MK Ultra Schizo-brain. It’s true, it’s false, it’s fact, it’s myth, I don’t have to believe any of it -- I also don't have to believe any of you if I don’t want to. My feelings do not care about your facts, and did you know that some of the world's most uncomfortable facts are manifested into being by uncomfortable feelings? Is it the fact of the bullet that kills the political dissident, or the feelings of his executioner? Is it the deranged lust of the rapist that violates his victim, or the fact of his power to do so? I guess it depends on whether the perpetrator said "nothing personnel kid" before he committed the act. I don't know about that Nazi Rapist's feelings, but MY feelings are valid and I can believe or disbelieve whatever I want on the basis of my feelings, and my feelings alone. My feelings bend the spoon of your facts.

Are you going to say I don’t have the right, Adolf? Sucks for you, bud, I may be a commie by blood, but the heart that pumps it was assembled in the ole USA -- and we got the Right to be a Retard here in America. It's a Free Country.

[Note: please insert image of Jonathan Frakes from Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction]

Now that the dust has settled: Was the Nazi Roller-Coaster Real? Or did we put the Truth in a Mass-Grave? We will let you know at the conclusion of our program.

Sincerely and Full of Suffering Your Friend Always, Orcbrand

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daisymakesstuff · 6 years ago

Text

Future Queens- Save The Last Dance

Summary: Riley gets some well-deserved alone time with the Princess

Pairing: Lia(F!Liam) x MC

Series Rating: T

Word Count: 3,360

Warnings: series warning for homophobia

Also on AO3 | Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Disclaimer: this follows the plot line of TRR and uses a lot of it’s original dialogue and description, which I obviously did not write.

Tagged: @sibella-plays-choices @client-327

“… and that’s how my family acquired its fifth golden poodle statue…” Riley is just close enough now to Pennington and Lia to consistently hear their conversation through the din of the crowd.

“I can relate. Don’t get me started on the Queen’s antique goblet collection…” Lia says.

“Excuse me,” Riley interrupts during her pause. “May I cut in?”

“If you must…” Pennington visibly deflates.

“I must.” Pennington reluctantly walks away as the Princess turns to Riley.

“You handled that very well,” Lia praises her.

“I try,” Riley says.

“You do more than that. Honestly, you seem as comfortable here as you did back in New York.” Riley’s heart flutters in her chest, and she tries not to preen too visibly.

“Shall we dance?” Riley asks. The orchestra plays a dreamy waltz as Princess Lia takes Riley’s hand. Oh wait! Oh no! “I don’t…I’m not sure I know the steps…” Princess Lia smiles reassuringly, and perhaps a little like she had already guessed as much.

“Just follow my lead.” Lia’s arms are steady — and surprisingly strong. Riley finds it easy to follow her movements.

“You’re an amazing dancer,” Riley says. She can’t bring herself to stop grinning.

“My parents would be thrilled to hear that all those years of lessons paid off. Though, I don’t think they were expecting me to take the lead.” Is that a gay joke? That’s definitely a gay joke. “I’m very glad that I got a moment alone with you, Riley.”

“Well… relatively alone. There’s only about a hundred people watching us.” And, unlike all the parties back home, these guests really are watching her. Not that she expects anything less, a woman slow dancing with another woman still draws eyes even in New York. A woman dancing with another woman who also happens to be the Crown Princess of Cordonia is another level entirely.

“Unfortunately, it’s about as much privacy as we might expect… though I do have a trick up my sleeve…” Lia guides Riley across the ballroom floor and waltzes them out a set of French doors, to an unoccupied balcony. “We can get a little more privacy out here at least.”

“Nice moves.” Riley wiggles her eyebrows at Lia, earning a laugh from her.

“I try,” Lia says. “Now. I want to know how you are. I trust you’re being well taken care of here?”

“Maxwell’s been very sweet, so far. He flew me out here and set me up with a room and everything. I haven’t met his brother yet.”

“Ah, the Duke… he’s… different from Maxwell. More serious. But their house has an excellent reputation, mostly due to him.”

“I see…” Concerning… but Lia seems to respect him.

“What about Cordonia? What do you think of my home so far?” Lia asks.

“Cordonia?” Riley looks out over the balcony to the vast, sprawling ‘front yard’ of the Royal Palace. The grounds are immaculately maintained. The grass is perfectly green, the flowers are bright and healthy, and the long cobblestone roadway gives even the driveway a pleasant feel. “I love it!”

“Really?” Lia seems… surprised?

“It’s beautiful. I love the architecture, the elegant events, the music. It’s like something out of a fairy tale.”

“I’d hoped that you would love Cordonia as much as I do. It’s… well, it’d be rather unfortunate for a queen to dislike her kingdom.”

“Oh, right… I guess that’s a pretty important quality in a queen-to-be…”

“Especially given Cordonia’s recent history…” Lia trails off.

“What do you mean?” Riley finds herself frowning in response to the sadness on Lia’s face.

“These last few decades have been somewhat rocky for us… the first queen abandoned my father and my older half-brother… I’m not clear on the exact details, but…”

“Do you know why she left at least?”

“She couldn’t handle the pressures of courtly life. She came from a lesser noble family, so she hadn’t been long at court before the marriage… and my own mother passed away when I was still a child…”

“You lost your mother? I’m so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.” Judging by the expression on her face, not long enough. Riley decides not to press the subject.

“And so the current queen…?”

“She may not be my mother, but she is a wonderful woman who’s done her best to lead Cordonia alongside my father. Instability in the monarchy is always dangerous for a small kingdom like ours. Weakened currency, a rise in crime, a drop in tourism… all because of the lives of the rulers.”

“So that’s why you care so much about finding the right person.” Having the list laid out like that puts things into perspective. Being at court may make things seem like a fairy tale, but there are very real people whose livelihoods depend on these nobles making the right decisions.

“Exactly. I can’t just follow my heart… as much as a might want to. There’s too many other people I need to think about…” Lia pauses, seeming to come back to their surroundings. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to burden you with this.”

“Lia, you can tell me anything. You’ve got a lot resting on your shoulders.”

“True, but I can at least take a moment to sprinkle in tales of my misspent youth…” Lia deflects.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing those either,” Riley says.

“One summer when I was only eight, my father decided to throw me into the rigors of governing. He made me sit through hours of meetings for three weeks straight. Finally, I couldn’t take another minute. I decided to liberate myself…”

“Wait, you played hooky?”

“Yeah. Drake and I stole a monster supply of chocolate from the kitchens, and we hid out in the gardens. We spent the evening making up game to play in the garden maze. Our best one was maze-tag. You can see the entrance to the maze over there, by the hedges.”

“’Maze-tag’? Let me guess. You played tag in the maze?”

“You’ve got it. Not our most cleverly named game, but whoever was ‘it’ had to run after the other person in the maze. You lost if you were ‘it’ by the time the other person got to the center. We played that for hours, until we nearly collapsed from exhaustion. But we were too stubborn to go back. We used the last of our strength to climb up the tree in the center of the hedge maze and vowed to live out there. We fell asleep in that tree, and I only woke up when I fell off the branch and landed flat on my back, swearing up a storm.” There’s another pause again, where Lia realizes she may be saying too much. “I hope this doesn’t destroy your image of me as a proper princess…”

“What surprises me the most is that you know any swear words. You’re always so proper.” Thinking back on it, Riley may not have heard a single swear word from anyone since they left the airport.

“Maybe in front of you.” Lia smiles.

“Well, I want to meet the Lia who plays hooky and sleeps in trees.” The one who races Riley up cliff sides to look at the stars and smiles all the time. Riley likes that Lia very much.

“I’m afraid those days are behind me.” On the next swell of the waltz Lia guides Riley through the doors to the ballroom, ending their conversation. Inside, Lia pulls her close, and that dispels any worries Riley had about saying the wrong thing. They sway together as, gradually, the music winds down.

“This song is coming to an end, and the Masquerade with it. We’ll have to say good night soon…” Lia sounds like she wants to part about as much as Riley does.

“Is this how it’s going to be for the next few months? Stealing a couple minutes here and there?” Riley asks.

“As I said, things are different here… I should spend some time with the gentlemen to be fair to them but believe me when I say I wish this night didn’t have to end.” Lia seems remorseful, as though all of this is her fault.

“Who says it has to?” They don’t have time to unpack all of Lia’s problems, but Riley can at least try to make her night better.

“Uh-oh. The last time you got that gleam in your eye, we ended up on a boat to the Statue of Liberty…”

“Do you regret it?”

“Never!” Lia takes mock offense to the question. “What are you proposing?”

“Would you like to meet me at the garden maze?” Riley asks.

“Yes… but my bodyguards would never allow me to go out there alone.” Lia frowns again.

“You wouldn’t be alone. I’ll be there.” Riley hams it up, pretending to be oblivious to what Lia really means.

“They’d probably like that even less. We shouldn’t…”

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Because we both know much I want to.” Lia looks away, and her cheeks flush just a little.

“In that case, I’ll be out there in twenty minutes. I hope I won’t be alone.”

“Riley…” It’s Lia’s last-ditch effort to get one of them to back out.

“Yes?” Riley asks innocently. The waltz comes to an end and everyone in the ballroom applauds. Before Riley walks away, Lia spins her close, head bent toward hers.

“I’ll see you in twenty.”

---

Twenty minutes later, Lia joins Riley outside as promised.

“Cutting it a little close there…” Riley pretends to look at a watch on her wrist.

“I was trapped in a conversation about table seating for tomorrow’s picnic, but I managed to tear myself away for you. Shall we?” Riley takes Lia’s arm, and they head toward the gardens together.

“It really is beautiful here at night,” Riley says.

“I wish I could take the credit, but the gardens out here were my mother’s vision. I think it was her last wish before… well. Sometimes when I stroll this garden at night, I think of her…” Lia looks up at the stars.

“I’m sure she appreciates that,” Riley assures her.

“Thanks. The garden holds a lot of good memories as well.”

“This is where you and Drake played maze-tag growing up, right?” Riley smoothly changes the subject to something more lighthearted.

“Yeah, you probably think it’s silly, don’t you?”

“Sounds like a lot of fun. In fact—” Riley taps Lia on the shoulder and takes off running, “Tag! You’re ‘it’, Lia!”

“Cheater!” Lia laughs as she starts to run. Despite Riley’s head start, Lia comes close to catching up with her. Up ahead, Riley can see the maze entrance… and the wet grass shortcut straight to it. She takes the shortcut without hesitation and manages to stay ahead of Lia.

“Ha!” Riley weaves through the maze just ahead of her. Lia said there was a tree at the center…She navigates the maze’s twists and turns, heading for the top of a large tree in the distance until she rounds the last corner. Before her lies a straight path to the center of the maze where a swing sways from a large tree. The sight is breathtaking, almost enough to distract her. Riley can hear Lia’s footsteps not far behind. She doubles down, sprinting even harder for the center. “I’m going to win!”

“It’s not over until it’s over!” Lia calls back. She dives forward to tag her… but her momentum knocks them both off-balance! “Whoa!”

They both topple over, laughing as they roll together before coming to a stop near the swing. Riley can feel Lia’s breath, warm against her cheek.

“We made it. The center of the maze…” Lia pants.

“And I do believe I win.” Riley grins up at her.

“How do you figure that?” Lia challenges, though she’s smiling too.

“Easy. I’m on top.” Riley shifts so she can take on a more confident pose straddling Lia’s hips.

“I find it hard to argue with that…”

“Then don’t?” Lia laughs… and then her face turns serious as she gazes up at Riley.

“Something about you… it just feels… right to be around you,” Lia whispers.

“Lia… I feel the same way.”

“Riley…” She almost sounds like she can’t believe it. She reaches up to cup Riley’s cheek, her fingers warm against her skin. Riley leans down, her lips capturing hers. Lia’s hands curve around her as she pulls her close. For a moment, the entire world fades away. It's just them, glowing softly under twinkling lights and roses… and then Lia shakes herself and pulls away. “We shouldn’t… I don’t know what will happen, and I…”

“I know.” Riley frowns, but she understands.

“What is it about you, Riley? When you’re around, you make me want to break all the rules.”

“Maybe you need someone like that in your life.” Riley gets up off her, extending a hand to help Lia up.

“Maybe I do,” Lia agrees. She accepts Riley’s hand up and dusts herself off. That prompts Riley to look down at her own white dress. Lia’s light blue satin gown isn’t fairing much better.

“Our dresses may have become casualties…” Riley points out. Lia giggles.

“Yeah, we should be careful heading back inside.”

“You don’t think I should flaunt my new look?” Riley twirls, showing off the green and brown stains in all their glory. “You know, you laughed more in this maze than you did all night in that Masquerade.”

“I guess I really needed this… thank you.”

“No problem. I had fun too. Will I see you soon?”

“Yes, tomorrow. It’ll be very busy, but I’ll find the time…”

“I look forward to it,” Riley says. Lia lifts her hand to kiss it.

“Until then.”

---

Back in her room, Riley is about to prepare for bed when there’s a knock at her door. Riley still has her mask on, but her gown is puddled on the floor.

“Just a second!” Riley calls out, grabbing the dress off the ground and shoving it into the closet. She shrugs on the robe she brought and rushes to answer the door. “Maxwell! Hey!”

“I know it’s late, but there’s someone you should meet.” Maxwell doesn’t pause for a response. Well, at least this is my fancy robe… "Bertrand, this is the one I was telling you about… Riley!”

He steps aside to let in an imposing man with a stern expression. Bertrand, apparently, looks her up and down. It’s uncomfortable, but not the leer she expects. No, he’s appraising her, like she’s an animal at the county fair. “This is who you’ve chosen to represent our house?” Bertrand asks Maxwell.

“Yep! Nailed it, right?” Maxwell seems pleased, though Bertrand’s expression doesn’t reveal anything. “Riley, this is my older brother, Bertrand.”

Riley smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you, Bertrand.”

“The proper way to address a duke is ‘Your Grace’,” Bertrand answers flatly.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Your Grace.”

“At least it looks like you can be trained.” Riley is already regretting trying to be polite.

“Hey, I’m not your pet.”

“He doesn’t mean it like that…” Maxwell tries to defuse the situation, though it’s clear he is not confident his efforts will do anything.

“Hmph. Maxwell, a word with you in private?” Bertrand huffs. He grabs Maxwell’s arm and hauls him out of the room. He slams the door behind him, but Riley can faintly hear their voices through it. She presses her ear to the door to listen in.

“That’s who you picked to represent our family?” Bertrand says angrily.

“Yeah. That’s Riley.” Maxwell still sounds very optimistic, despite his brother’s ire. “Lia really hit is off with her when they met at the restaurant for his bachelor party. She was our waitress.”

“A waitress. Not even a waiter. You brought a waitress. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you! We could’ve had our pick of any unsponsored duke or count in half of Europe and you pick someone who can’t even give the Princess an heir!”

“Well, sure, but like I said, she and Lia have a lot of, you know, chemistry. I think she really likes her. I know you probably don’t care, but Riley could make her really happy. Like I’ve-never-seen-her-so-happy kind of happy. Shouldn’t Lia have a shot at love like that, even if she is the Princess?”

“Spare me your sentimentality. You’d better hope that this waitress doesn’t ruin everything!” With that, the door’s thrown open, nearly smacking Riley in the face. Riley gasps, which certainly doesn’t help her situation. “You were listening to everything, weren’t you?” snaps Bertrand.

“Listening in? Yeah, and I don’t like what I heard.” No point in lying about it now.

“Perfect, a waitress with no manners.”

“Look, you’re the ones who invited me here. If you’re so unhappy with me then get someone else. Get a duke, or a count, or Count Dracula for all I care!” Riley snaps.

“No! You can’t do that! We already said you were our pick, so if you go, we’ve got no one,” Maxwell pleads.

“Maxwell is, unfortunately, correct. We’re stuck with you,” Bertrand confirms. “Perhaps Maxwell didn’t fully explain this to you, but if our house puts forth the Princess’s choice, we’ll win fame and recognition…”

“Something we could really use right now actually, ’cause we’re kind of broke,” Maxwell interjects, much to Bertrand’s displeasure.

“Maxwell. You overstep.”

“Sorry.” Maxwell looks to the ground.

“You’re broke? There’s no shame in being broke.” Though, it explains why she had to buy her own dress for the Masquerade. “I’ve been broke plenty of times.”

“Thanks, Riley,” Maxwell says.

“It’s entirely different for us,” Bertrand says. Oh yeah, because your idea of ‘broke’ includes being able to afford multiple trans-Atlantic private jet flights! Riley doesn’t say that out loud for Maxwell’s sake.

“Do you get money if I marry the Prince?” she asks instead.

“Not… directly, but we can leverage the prestige to great effect. It would be best to get that leverage before others find out our situation. In the circles we run in, if word got out of our financial ruin, it would be a scandal.”

“But our name is still worth something in Cordonia!” Maxwell says, always one to look on the bright side. “At the very least, we can introduce you to the right people, get you invitations to the right events. I only regret that we can’t offer you more.”

“Speaking of which, have you prepared for tomorrow’s event?” Bertrand asks.

“Event?” Riley asks. It is news to her but, to be fair to Maxwell, there had been little time to tell her about tomorrow’s schedule when she was busy trying to accomplish today’s.

“That’s the Derby,” Maxwell says.

“You know what a derby is, right?”

“A derby is a fancy horse race,” Riley responds. For once, Bertrand seems pleased.

“Very good. It’ll be your first opportunity to make an impression on the press. They’ll be covering the event.”

“They don’t get a lot of opportunities to see the royals, so they’ll jump at this chance,” Maxwell adds.

“Oh…I assume they’re important then,” Riley says.

“Yes. Very. Everyone in Cordonia will be influenced by what they write about you.” Bertrand seems less disgusted by my existence, at least. Maybe he’s warming up to me…if you can call it that.

“We’re a monarchy, but we serve the people. You’ll need their approval if you’re going to become queen,” Maxwell says.

“Speaking of which, you should consider your attire for tomorrow. The Queen will be present at the Derby, and the right outfit will go a long way to earning her favor. I recommend going for a look that’s modern to impress the Queen.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Riley says, nodding seriously.

“I’ve made an appointment for you in the morning at the boutique already,” Maxwell tells her.

“We’ll speak more tomorrow right before we head out for the Derby. Good night.” Bertrand turns on his heel and leaves, Maxwell following behind him with a wave.

Riley still has no idea what to do about her ruined dress. Maybe I can ask Maxwell in the morning…without Bertrand.

#playchoices #the royal romance #trr fanfic #choices fanfic #choices fanfiction #my fanfic #my edits

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dracula-in-purple-story · 6 years ago

Text

Pride Month 1/3[BONUS]

Pride Month is here! How would the Cephero celebrate it?

Author’s Note : All of this is ENTIRELY NON-CANON. I’m still working on my writing skills. Thank You and Enjoy, hopefully.

“Wake up, guys! It’s the first day of June. Smell the fresh air of rainbows!” Fior shouted as she smacked pans to pans, causing ruckus in Cephero Household. Erek chuckled as he mixing through salad dressings. The first two people who appeared crashed down the staircase.

“Fior, it’s freaking six in the morning!” Hachi screeched as he glared at their tiny girlfriend. Tres grumbled underneath him, making Hachi quickly removed himself from her. Erek quickly grabbed the first-aid kit after he finished making the salad. Luckily, the injuries on both of them are not severe at all.

“If I got a sprain during target practise, you would get your ass whoop, Fior,” the menacing squid threatened before kissing the smug inkling on the forehead. Erek sighed dreamily as he pulled their boyfriend up. Hachi squinted a little bit between Erek and Fior.

“What’s with those ink colours?” he asked as he never seen three colours fused in the same tentacles. Pink, purple and dark blue. Those ink colours are swimming around their tentacles in order. He only knew that he can have another colour on the tip if he have an intense make-out but definitely not this.

“They represents bisexualities, Chi~. We teach you after breakfast if you are interested.” Sei answered from the upper veranda. Huit is right behind him, brushing her teeth. She looked at him curiously like her twin brother did. Sei had three colours in his tentacles too, but it’s pink, yellow and light blue instead. He winked at Huit before jumping down in his squid form.

~~~~~~~~~~

They went to the Square after they ate their breakfast. The octoling twin, even Tres, were amazed of the tentacles displays around them. The people are displaying more than one ink colour. Octolings are either amazed or tried to learn from their inkling friends.

When they make sure no one is watching them. They quickly morphed into their squid/octo form and went into the manhole. They arrived at Octo Canyon to see the Squid Sisters and Off The Hook, laughing and gossiping. Dedf1sh is feeding one of her pigeons. One thing is noticeable, all of them have three or more ink colours. Pearl and Marina have many shades of pink and red; Callie have pink, green and blue; Marie and Dedf1sh have green, yellow, orange and black.

Callie spotted them first, grinning as she wave at them enthusiastically. The others noticing them too. “AGENT THREES, FOURS AND EIGHTS! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!”

Erek and Callie hugged each other tightly; Fior went inside the cabin to help feed the pigeons; Tres is having a staring contest with Marie unconsciously. Hachi and Huit are gawking at their mother figures’ tentacles. Different shades of pink and red are another level of awesomeness. The tall squid chuckled at them before comedically pushed their jaws up, “Guys, manners.”

“But, Sei~! Marina and Pearl look so cool with their colours. What do they represent?” Huit questioned before gazing at them again. Pearl smirked, “They represent lesbian, yo! It means girls who love girls only!” This make the twins disappointed, Hachi because he’s a boy and Huit because she love her boyfriends too. Marina realised this before adding after Pearl, “Don’t worry, you guys can still make shades of your own pride too! People won’t mind. When I celebrate my first Pride Month, the lesbian crowds still partying with me even though I only got one shade of pink and red.”The twins were smiling widely as they glanced at each other, high five along the way.

Marie finished her staring contest before remarking, “Although I understand that octolings are still learning, but why didn’t you change into your pride, Tres? Did you forgot your pride colours?” A typical situation if you knew Agent F3 well.

Tres grimaced, “I don’t know what to identified myself with. Besides, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to describe my pride anyways.” She took out the Hero Blaster from the Ammo Knights Enhancifier and start her target practice with some new dummies Sheldon had upgraded. Marie sighed a bit, “Are you bisexual?”

“No. I don’t really think gender is that important.”

“Pansexual?”

“I thought so at first but seeing how Sei acts around, especially night time... Nah.”

“Hm, don’t care about gender yet no sexual desires...”

“Yep. The internet said something about sickness so I figure it’s that way, Marie.”

“What about asexual? It’s a term for people who feel like they don’t need to have sex to prove their love or something.”

Tres stopped before looking at Marie with her eyes glinted. “...there’s a term?”

~~~~~~~~~~

Agent 8s and F3 are sitting on the floor, facing Marie as she took out some big piece of paper and stick it on the wall. “Okay, agents. Pride Month is basically a month where we celebrate our sexualities and gender identities. Cal, go haywire with your colouring. Any question before we start?”

Huit raised her hands, “Is it necessary to have pride colours?”

“Nope, it’s not necessary. Pride Month officially started around fifty years after the Great Turf War. It started off with rainbow colours to represent gay, boys who love boys only. Then, as Pride Month started to get popular, the government officials decided to help identifying and creating more colour patterns with the citizen. It took 10 years but they were satisfied about the results, like this.” Marie finished as she twirled around her tentacles.

Hachi raised next, “How do you do those ink colour fusion? Does it hurt?”

Marie pondered for a while, “We would help you with fusion later, M8. Ink fusion is a hard trick that only discovered twenty years ago by some drag queens. It would take a while to master the technique but it doesn’t affect you or so whatever. So, it doesn’t hurt. Your colours would switch back to proper ink if you entered the Deca Tower though.”

The twins raised together in unison, “How Pride Month came to exist?”

“Before the term ‘Pride’ exist, even before the Great Turf War, people who feel confused of their feelings are being set to arranged marriage. People who being found to date the same gender were... punished heavily. Few years after the Great Turf War, the population were low in numbers, especially inklings. To start populate the country, the government decided to pass a law and force the citizens to make babies. It last for at least 30 years before the queers decided to protest against this law. Citizens got shotted by the corrupted government officials. Pride Month then came exist to celebrate LGBT+ and honour the people who died during the protest.”

The octoling twins, including Marina and Dedf1sh, were shocked at hearing this information. Guess Inkopolis have their own dark history. As there are no more questions to be answered, she nodded to her cousin.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, agents!” Callie shouted as she pointed to the paper where it’s full of colours and labels, “Today we are going to learn the basic LGBT+ terms and their colours!” The octoling twins are fidgeting around excitedly to figure out which one is for them. The orange inkling girl just smiled a bit as she found a colour pattern which label as ‘Asexual/Ace’.

“First of all,” Callie pointed at the rainbow pattern, “this represents gay, as Marie said, boys who love boys only. It’s also the first colour pattern to be created that led to an official Pride Month.”

“This, on the other hand, represents lesbian. Like Off the Hook! Before this colour pattern exist, the lesbians use the rainbow colour patterns. Due to some conflict, the lesbian colours were created since gay are terms for, you know, boys.”

“That pattern represents bisexual, like Fior and Erek. It means they love male and female equally. And that pattern represents pansexual, like Sei. It means he love you no matter what gender you are, even if you are genderless!”

“This pattern here represents transgender. Means that people wanted to be the opposite gender. Most reasons for this is mainly they are not comfortable of their current gender.”

“This pattern over here is polysexual, like me! It’s almost the same as pansexual but the difference is that I don’t really love all genders. Not really. I love multiple genders but not all!”

“I ran out of Sharpies so I’m gonna drag Ahato into this! This ink colours right here represents aromantic. It means they didn't think it’s necessary to be in a relationship. They prefer to be alone for the rest of their life. Am I right?” she glanced at her cousin and sanitised friend, who nodded in confirmation.

“And finally, the asexual colour pattern! This came out official 12 years ago so most people, not all, know about this but they are valid too! They are usually people who didn't think it’s necessary to commit sexual acts in a relationship.”

“Oh, of course! People who only love opposite genders exist too! Most of them would participate because they want to hang out with their queer friends. The rest of them usually take a break from Turf sports since they somehow don’t know where to fit in but they support us either way!”

The information is overflowing for the three of them but hey, they learned something new!

~~~~~~~~~~

“I think I am between polysexual and pansexual, brother. What am I going to do?” Huit whimpered as she tried to choose between one. Hachi patted her back pitifully, since he had chosen pansexual. Tres had already chose one and started her ‘training’, as she stated, with Sei.

“Well, sis, I wish I got more time but,” he sighed as he looked over to Fior who is tapping her feet impatiently, “she’s been doing that for a while. Why don’t you let an expert to help you with?”

Huit pouted before playfully shooed her brother off as Erek came up to her. “So... need help?”

“Yes, I’m very confused on whether I’m polysexual or pansexual. Brother choose his sexuality on the spot and here I am... I’m... confused.” Huit cried as she glanced between the two colour patterns. Erek smile gently, “It’s okay to be confused, Huit. This takes a lot of time. Look, one of my friend thought she’s unusual until she realised she’s an aromantic. She’s 38 back then. Why don’t you mixed those colours up or switch it back and forth?”

Huit brightened up quickly. “Well, what are we waiting? Teach me how to do stuff like that!” The soft boy chuckled as he switch back to his blue ink colour.

~~~~~~~~~~

“In order to mixed those colours up, you gotta rest your mind. The clearer the mind, the better your concentration is, Hachi.”

“After we done that, Tres, think of the colours in front of you. It’s not that complicated to make that face, girl.”

“As soon as you memorised the colours, think of it as your own ink colours! Don’t be upset if you only managed to get fused for a while. I said it’s a great progress!”

“Okay, this... um... okay. Hachi, you and your smartass, you learn way too quickly!”

“Tres... I know it’s hard for you to clear your mind but... it’s not really threatening if you keep pouting like that.”

“Okay! We are definitely doing good, for starters. You managed to get two colours to fuse in your first try!”

“You are lucky you are so damn cute, Hachi. Be glad because you embarrassed me. Don’t octo party on me!”

“Why the heck is your tentacle bloody red? You supposed to- GAH! Stop punching my stomach!”

“Great job, Huit! You deserve something good for this. Crusty Meals’ on me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It took 5 days but they finally managed to put their Pride colours. Now, they are finally going to participate some Pride Month celebration. Inkopolis Square are decorated colourfully with LGBT flags and people setting out their foods and drinks to sell. Sei looked at his group of lovers before speaking out proudly, “As we finally have our little training done, we can have some fun now. Since this is almost end of the first week, we can only enjoy some party before the real fun start.”

“Real fun?” Tres muttered out distrustfully. Erek quickly noticed her tone before reassured her, “It’s mainly some activities that only occurred in Pride Month. It’s like League but with people invent some games to let us play and earn points! Usually it’s the group of winners from the previous Pride Month activities gets to create the game.”

“And last year, us three and the Squid Sister won so we get to create a game. Don’t get your hopes high because we ain’t telling,” Fior smirked before drinking some Creamy Chocolate Milk. Tres shrugged it off and dragged Erek to a fruit salad stall.

Suddenly, someone with a creepy clown mask came up to the octoling twins and whispered, “Kids, do you want some balloons?” The twins screamed loudly before realising that person is laughing uncontrollably. They calmed down a bit before that person took off their mask.

“Pearl! Why do you have to do that? To us!” Hachi shrieked but Pearl took no notice about that. “Just gotta scare my favourite pair of twins, kiddos. Anyways, heard of the Pride Games yet?”

#Splatoon #My Splatoon Story #Agent 96 #Agent 3 #Agent 4 #Agent 8 #draculainpurple #My OCs

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